smonk you: the best freaking daddy blog ever

Wisdom for Miloh: Learn how to eat a banana. Most folks will tell you there is one way to eat a banana. They are wrong. There is a right way and a wrong way. And most people eat them the wrong way. I have to admit I ate them the wrong way for probably about 30 years... Then I ran in to one of the most brilliant men I have ever met. Sorry, that's a lie... He's a copywriter and no brilliant person would put them self in that situation. But I know he just threw out his trademark JC (not Jesus Christ) smirk when reading that. And now he's saying "fucking Friedman." Anyway JC (not Jesus Christ) told me I was eating a banana wrong one day. I was eating it like everyone I've ever seen ate it... But I hadn't seen the light. You see professional banana eaters, some call them monkeys, eat them the opposite way that most humans do. They grab the stem and peel the top. It makes more sense... It's easier to peel the "bottom" of a banana even tho...

In my last post I mentioned I was working on getting some celebs for this post. I was in talks with the quarterback of the Saints whatever his name is...I'm sure I could look it up. I was also trying to get Conan...those talks were going really well but then NBC squashed it. There were more but the moral is it's just me. So I thought I'd do a clips post to show my journey from dude who was scared of kids to dad. If you're new to my blog this will be a CliffsNotes version of what you missed. If you've been checking it out for awhile think of this as a best of. And since a blog can't work like a TV show if you want to get the full clip show experience you'll have to click through to the posts...but this will give you the gist. In the beginning...Staci and I wanted to have a child but we both had totally different experience with kids. Kids have always been magically attracted to her...which is probably why she is so great at her career as a Montessori teac...

When Staci and I were talking about trying to get pregnant we knew that it could take a long time. However we both treated that information differently. Staci being a teacher wanted to have the baby at a time that would coincide with summer break so that was an important factor in when to start. She was betting on it taking a while so she thought she should start early. I was really aware of the fact it could take one time and thought we should figure that into our timing. All those who know Staci know that she is a planner. So we set a month to start. Then she freaked out a bit thinking it would take even longer than she planned (we both realize you can't plan it) so she wanted to start even earlier. Staci won out, but I was right. We realize we're very lucky that it worked out well. So why am I giving you all this info? Well according to a study , since it didn't take long to conceive, it means that we'll have a girl. So there is a bit of science on baby gender...we...

The whole idea of starting this blog came when I was talking to friends about some of the things I've said to Staci since we found out she was pregnant. Things that you probably shouldn't say to anyone you like, especially your pregnant wife. I'll posts these Kennyisms as they happen, but for now I'll pepper in some of the things I've said so far. It started with a small one, but a good one. 2 days after we found out Staci was pregnant I made the comment that I thought she looked bloated, which is weird because she was only 7 days pregnant (or 14 weeks or one month or something. The math on pregnancy is ridiculous and I'll talk about that later.) Well she wasn't happy about the comment as she wouldn't show for a few months. But to be fair, she was bloated and looked normal a couple days later. So I was right or maybe I wasn't right but I was correct. I screwed up again the next day...I'll post that tomorrow.