January 31, 2012

Evolution of the Sick Day

This is another post in my Vick's VapoRob VapoDad series. I should do a little update for you. On the first post I announced that I was in a fantasy football league and although I know nothing about football I was kicking but... Then I announced that Drew Brees was the Vick's VapoDad.

Ironically that week my team played a team with Drew on it... I lost miserably and then my team spiraled down to a total fail...

Sick days... I've found that the idea of them has changed drastically since I was a kid.

Back in the day, unless you were deathly ill, they were great... Especially if they were only a day or two long. If you were out for more your parents might make you do school work to catch up and that's just ridiculous.

But one day out for me meant The Price is Right and hoping that I'd get to see that guy drop in the Cliffhangers game

It also meant my mom would make orange Jello with sprite and pineapple inside... It was awesome then but now I think of what's in Jello and it's just disgusting to me but still it was all good.

And I'd usually get an Archie digest... If I was going to the doctor I might get a double digest but the single was ok for one day.

Then came my teenage days... Not as awesome on the homefront because there comes that time in which you're old enough to be home alone and take care of yourself... I'd make my own soup or whatnot, no Archie comics but I still had TPIR. But I had a job so sick days meant I didn't have to work... It also meant I didn't get paid.

And sometimes they meant if I had something going on I could call in sick to work and have a free day... I didn't so that often but it happened a couple times.

College is when sick days stared sucking... It's not easy to miss classes, at least it wasn't for me, so sick days involved me dragging my but to class and getting everyone else sick... Basically getting experience for later on in life. No professor cares that you missed a test when you're sick... I actually missed one because I got my wisdom teeth pulled and the whole city was out of codeine (not even kidding) and I got dinged huge for taking a test late.

Then you get a real job... There are three kinds of adult sick days...

The one where you're sick as a dog and you go to work anyway because you have so much stuff going on that you can't miss... And everyone else did the same so you're just passing germs back to some other poor sucker.

There are the ones where you're super crazy sick and really can't go to work... And life is miserable because no one is making you soup. You're too sick to go to the drug store to get the meds you're out of  them. Side note, and I'm not saying this they're sponsoring this post, Vicks sent me an awesome care package of their products and it was awesome because I was out of everything and a day from leaving on my Mexico trip... Nyquil and Dayquil were to the rescue... As much as I'm a dude who rarely takes meds I seriously love that stuff.

And since you're going no where you can't get an Archie double digest and if you did it might look like you're creepy or a loser since you're too old, and they probably lose something when you're almost 40...

But you still might see the Cliffhanger game on TPIR, even though it's old, however you'd have to sit through Drew Carey's semi-awkward hosting duties...

Those are the first two... I guess I could add the fake ones... In full disclosure I've pulled one of those as an adult but it was to go snowboarding and it was a day that nothing was really going on so it's all good.

The last kind of sick day is when people with kids are taking sick days to be home with their sick kid...

If you're like me you think this is the greatest scam ever at least I thought to pre-kid.

First off who knows that the kid is sick anyway... Second, remembering from my days of youth, I was a perfect angel when I was sick and so when my mom stayed home it was like a vacation for her.

And so I kind of envied these people who took days off to look after their "sick" kid.

Then MF started getting sick. All. The. Time.

It happened in correlation to him going to school... The problem was I was relatively new to my job so taking time off might not look great. And Staci was at the end of her school year which is really important and hard to miss (then at the beginning of the year after the summer break when he had a relapse of being sick All. The.Time.)

She got him on the summer days, I took a lot of the other days. And let me tell you, as you know if you have toddlers... Sick days suck.

The first sick day I took off with MF I can remember him not even trying to sleep. He didn't want to watch Kipper, his favorite show at the time and a fave of mine. He just wanted to run around like a maniac even though he was crazy sick. He wanted to eat everything but had nothing. He would have moments of awesome cuddling but that would last maybe two minutes at a time then we'd start all over again...

It was nuts... It was not relaxing... It got me sick... And so the second day I had to do the same running around while my head felt like it was in a vice while I was underwater.

I can't wait until we get to the good days I remember... When we can watch TPIR, probably hosted by Russel Brand by then, and eat some fake vegetarian Jello, or real vegetarian fake Jello and read some Archie comics...

But for now we're in the stage where something that was so great became something so not good.

January 28, 2012

Inaugural Edition of First Gen Dads: Smonk You

I've Back in June I wrote a post called First Generation Dad that touched on how I feel to be a dad when I didn't really have a good father figure of my own. And I got an idea but didn't have time to flesh it out... Six months later and I finally had the time.

I'm starting what I hope to be a new feature and calling it First Gen Dads. The idea is I'll invite other dads who, for whatever reason, didn't have a father around when they grew up.

Stealing some words from my first guest (coming up next month) it's an important topic.

I think it's one that's not thought about much.

One thing that really got me thinking about this came a few months after my aforementioned post. It was a letter that a radio morning show guy wrote to his soon to be son. First I should mention I only listen to that morning show not that station. Second what got me about the letter is when he talks about all the things his dad taught him...

My father taught me nothing... Seriously nothing. The closest he got was the time he bought me some ridiculously expensive remote control car that we were going to build together. We opened the box and checked out the parts... We were going to put it together the next few times I saw him... He put it together that night... And I was only allowed to play with it once because a piece broke.

However while he taught me nothing I learned a lot from him... I learned what I didn't want to be like as a dad.

The format of this new thing is a few questions and then a lighter Q&A. The questions on that first part are mostly things people have asked me... But when asked I'd always kind of blow them off and answer in few words...

Things get a bit more real when you really answer...

Hope you all enjoy... And the only way this is going to become a thing is if I can get other First Gen Dads to feature... So if you know any send them my way, on twitter or email or telepathy.

Why wasn't your father around when you were growing up?
I think my father was out of the house when I was 11. Then I had to see him for a bit because of visitation... But I stopped going when I was around 14 and he didn't seem to care, although one year he sent me some a cassingle of Mike + the Mechanics - The Living Years in hopes I'd be moved... I wasn't.

He was never a father to me. He was emotionally abusive to my mom... That affected the whole family. He's an ass and was never really a dad... It's why I feel I was fatherless even though he was around so long.

He also, legally, didn't have to pay any child support... That's because my grandfather gave him part of his business and he then had to pay him to go away... Legal stuff aside that's just morally wrong... To have nice cash and not care to give a cent to your kids... So if he's reading this I'd ask him to take some of his ill gotten cash and set up a college fund for Miloh.

Racking my brain I can only think of a handful of memories of him... One is him giving me a pretzel on Passover (you're not supposed to eat that stuff and at the time I was observing it). The other was when my mom changed the locks and he came over the house and tried to change them back... I innocently asked if I could see his tools then through them in the neighbors bushes and into the sewer so he couldn't continue. Anything else is really just a story not a memory.

Me with my grandfather who is the
closest thing I have to a dad really.

Me and the dog I never really cared for.
My boots and sunglasses rock.

Do you have a relationship with him now?
No. I haven't had any contact since I was 14. He stopped sending birthday checks when I was about 22. The last one actually paid the cost of my name change.

He's looking for me though... A few years ago he asked my sister about a Kenny Friedman that lived in Minnesota and one in New Jersey or such... I got a strange call one that leads me to think he found me... But I didn't lead on that I was who the caller was looking for... He's super computer savvy so I'd bet if he did he's seen this blog.

Before you were a dad what did you look forward most about being a dad?
I'm not really sure. I think I always wanted a little me... And to give said little me a good father figure. I think I got that kid and I'm trying my best to be the dad he deserves.

What was your greatest fear?
The concept of a father has always been incredibly abstract to me. I knew my friends' fathers but I couldn't grasp the idea of having one for myself... And I had good male role models like my grandfather and such but it really didn't translate to what being a father meant...

So it was/is the fear of a total unknown for me and I don't want to fuck it up.

Are you the father you thought you'd become?
Like I said above I didn't grasp what a dad was and had no expectations... I knew I would be the opposite of my father... I think I've been accomplishing that.

How has fatherhood changed you?
I'm more patient... MF has made me super patient about stuff that would drive me nuts before and he's made me more chill... Being around him calms me because I want him to be in a good place.

Is there anything you wish your father knew about you as a father?
Not really. He doesn't mean anything to me so I wouldn't share anything with him.

Any wisdom for new dads?
Forget what you already know*. I think a lot of people have tons of plans and expectations, I had a few. They all change super fast because you have to react to the kid you have and not to the kid you expect you'll have.

Something I learned from Staci's (my wife) world of Montessori is they observe the child and that's how they know how to guide them. I try to do that... Observe MF and figure out what I should do.

*I feel like that quote is from something and the only thing I can find is a Jason Mraz song... I never listened to him so that's not it.

And now part two Q&A... I wish there was a better way to show this on the blog, you'll have to click it to see it larger.
You probably need to clickity click to read

January 24, 2012

His Last Free Ride... Unless He Becomes A Pilot... Or Wins A Trip... Or Needs To Travel For Business... Or... Part Two

If you missed part one of my two part series on our trip to Mexico you really missed nothing.

Something I forgot to mention that happened day two was that I bought my first can of Axe body spray. I forgot deodorant and everything I found had anti-perspirant in it and I don't know all the facts but I know that if you use you get a phone call right after then you die seven days later...

The only non-anti-perspirant stuff was a lonely can of Axe. So I tried it... And I can tell you the commercials lie. Not one angel fell from the sky.

Also I should mention that there was a ton of pool time the first few days but and in one of those days a dog bit an orange ball that was at the pool... We heard about it from MF the rest of the week.

Day Four:

You can get falafel in Isla Mujeres... At MaƱana (a cool little cafe that has a mini used bookstore in it). Said falafel rocks... And the hot sauce is awesome.

As a general rule the hot sauces in Isla were awesome and so different at every place.

MF likes iguanas but calls them guanas.

I don't know what this graphic means... It's from an elevator. I get the gist it's just not done well.

We went to an area with a little Mayan ruins... They had great warning signs.

Pretty normal falling rocks sign
Don't hold up the cliff
Don't stand perfectly still at the edge of a cliff
Then we headed to lunch...

On the ocean near the restaurant there was a nurse shark in an underwater pen... For a couple buck (no idea ho much) you could get into the pen for a picture of you holding the shark... This is so freaking cruel and ridiculous... NEVER do it.

I have an another awesome pic of MF on the beach from the trip... I hesitate to put it on the site though, sorry to tease. But maybe I will when I get the photo our friend took while I was shooting the great pic... They look cool together. Any way he liked the ocean but only went in up to his knees...

I only got a Pina Colada but someone at the table got vegetarian tacos... The octopus in them made them extra vegetarian in Mexico.

That night we went to a restaurant in which the men's room only had a urinal... You could not sit if you needed to... Luckily I didn't need to.

Day Five:

We went snorkeling. I brought the WG-1 for this because we went to a place where they have underwater sculptures. It's called MUSA. It was really freaking cool... My pics were just eh because they made us wear lifejackets. I think part because there were a ton of boats around and they probably had no insurance... And it was crazy choppy.

So choppy I came seconds away from offering my breakfast to the fish to enjoy.

B;ah, blah, blah... More guacamole, pool time and pina colada's... This is when being a vegetarian started to really freaking suck... But I knew that was going to happen soon enough.

Day Six:

This is where I really gotta thank the folks at Pentax for humoring and giving me the camera.

Half underwater awesomeness
More food... It was another place with inch thick pancakes... MF was not a fan of the camera.

Putting my lens cap on... I love these shots and have many

Yada, Yada, Yada another great meal then we put the kids to sleep (with good company to watch over them) and headed to the square for their New Year's celebration. It was super fun but really you know what those are like.

Day Seven:


In camera panorama that isn't so bad

I went around shooting random stuff...

A beautiful beachfront hotel... Not where we stayed.
Sunset happened and I finally caught some pics

Some random girl

Sunsets plus fill light equals awesomeness 

The night for the kids ended with MF and his buddy, who he now calls his brother, reading books.

Day Eight:

Headed back to the states... I got a Mexican Coke in the can, so much better than Mexican Coke in the bottle... But they don't need to list the ingredients there which is odd...

And then I went to Johnny Rockets in the Cancun airport to get an order of half fries half rings. I also ordered a bottle of water. While waiting for my order they called our flight and I grabbed the goods but forgot the water... So if you find yourself in the Cancun airport head to the Johnny Rockets and ask them for my water... You're welcome.

Then we headed home... The flight was uneventful because MF slept... Oh I guess you could call the whole thing where we couldn't take off because a guy locked himself in the bathroom and then when he finally came out he was super sick and fainted so we had to head back to the gate eventful. You could also call it a run on sentence.

Moral of the story: The trip was great but I forgot to mention that every day we had to walk MF around to get him to sleep in his stroller because he wouldn't sleep in the bed. It got old... Traveling with a two year old is really really hard but I'm glad we had the experience.

January 18, 2012

His Last Free Ride... Unless He Becomes A Pilot... Or Wins A Trip... Or Needs To Travel For Business... Or... Part One

I think in my head I wrote a post that will be better than this one but I forgot it... Also I really know how to get people to read further.

But I've learned that if I don't write stuff down immediately it's lost.. But I've also learned that when I don't write stuff down, but have an idea, my words come out best the second time. Which is really the first time...

So join me on the journey to discover if this post will suck... And join me on a journey to Mexico too.

They day after our Jewy Christmas we hopped on a plane to Isla Mujeres. Actually we hopped in a car to the airport, on a plane to Cancun and in a boat to Isla Mujeres. No trains were involved but a boat was so that's a solid trip.

We were joined by some of our good friends and their son on the trip. It was a milestone of a trip... The last one that we could take MF on without paying for a ticket.

I could bore you with all the details of the trip... But I'm not sure why anyone would care (actually I have no idea why people read my blog... Seriously you can leave a comment about what you like about it and that can help me figure out what to write about...)

Also it wouldn't be my style... So I figured I could do a bullet list of the trip.

First would be that it was awesome and we had great company... I need to say that in case my sarcasm/cynicism hides all that.

Here goes... A non-bulleted bullet list of our trip to Isla Mujeres.

Day one:

I pack awesomely... One bag was 50lbs one was 49.5lbs... When packing the night before I felt like Schindler in my decision what could go and what couldn't. We had a scale but you never know if those are off... I rock. Also it might be incredibly insensitive for me to compare my packing style with Oskar Schindler but I did.

Terminal two of MSP has no good vegetarian food. Terminal one does have good stuff and it has pinball. But we were in two.

I say a friend I used to work with who was also on our plane... He's a creative director like me so and I told MF to not grow up like either of us... To do something more noble like rob banks.

MF is awesome on planes... He slept the whole way and was super cute the time he was up.

MF loves those pull-apart red vines (which by the way are not licorice... Licorice needs to be licorice flavor).

Wait I think I'm forgetting that he was actually up a lot on the flight there and he was super active... But cute and not "that kid". You know, that kid.

Mexico does not care about child safety in cars. That's a blanket statement that might not be true but the car seat situation there was so not safe.

Mexico wanted me to die in a car before getting to Isla Mujeres. Again a blanket statement but everyone was buckled in and my buckle was as safe as a piece of twine wrapped around something you wrap twine around.

MF loves a boat ride... He went on his first. For those who haven't been to Isla you take a ferry from Cancun. That boat has two dudes playing guitar and singing on the top... There's something so awesome about them. They were so tinny like Liz Phair's Girlysound (the extra stuff on the album).

Mexican's hate salt. Might technically be a blanket statement... Might technically be wrong. But the place we went to that first night didn't use salt on their tortilla chips. A lot of real mexican places here do the same... However in Chicago a lot of the places do add salt. Maybe it's a regional thing in Mexico.

Day two:

Waking up with MF and going to the beach might be one of the coolest thing ever... Also no matter how many times you ask it's still a coconut (that might only apply to MF).

My two is still black from that time I kicked a wolf and saved 200 children.
They make super crazy thick pancakes on Isla... I'm talking an inch thick.

I was wishing I had a dime so it would give it some size reference.
You might hear someone say "do you think we should get Johnny (or a different name) a felt burro with a masked rider holding a gun?"

I don't know what Apoya means...

The words say Apoya a los demas... 

The interval photo capture to movie thing on my Pentax WG-1 freaking rocks and I forgot to use it... I did a test that's not worthy of showing but forgot to do another session.

MF likes rigatoni. I don't like on-camera flash.

When you ask for hot pepper at Rolandi's in Isla Mujeres you might think you'll get crushed red pepper but you get some awesome roasted hot green pepper in olive oil concoction... And it rocks.

Flambe makes cakes awesome.

Day three:

MF wants you to like pull-apart red vines.

MF took his first shower. He peed in the shower for the first time. He enjoyed both.

Guacamole rocks.

When they are out of veggie burgers a normal hamburger seems like a reasonable substitute.

We did a bunch of other stuff but I forget what all that was. Also photos help you remember stuff.

I'll stop at day three and break this in to two posts... The next one will include really odd warning signs and more things in vegetarian food.

January 15, 2012

The $157 lunch -or- The Open Letter I'd Love To Write But Probably Shouldn't

Officer: Do you know how fast you were going?
Me (with a cute little shrug): 35
Officer: You were going 44
Me: Hmm
Officer: Do you know the speed limit?
Me: 30
Officer: License and registration please
Me: Here's my license. My registration is in this pile (showing the contents of my glove box).
Officer: I'll start things and come back for that
Me: Do you mind if I text my wife and tell her that I'll be late in bringing lunch to my sick little boy who's right down this street?
Officer: Go ahead

Moral of the story: I should have shown him my boobs.

This should be a VapoRub VapoDad post because I was in fact showing of my best dad skills but I don't want to connect them to my minor crimes... And they sent me a nice gift basket of Vick's products which have basically been keeping me alive the last week so I want to stay on their good side.

The deal was the kid was sick again and he was going to go to the doctor because his cough was super not good. And I was going to take him during my lunch.

However while at school he was feeling much better so that plan got scrapped... But he needed lunch.

So I hauled ass to Whole Foods and got him some of his favorite things from the salad bar (including mushrooms which is just weird for a kid) and added that to a can of soup... Then headed to his school.

I had a choice: get off on one road that is more residential but has less lights or get off on one that has a faster speed limit but a lot of lights. I choice the former. I chose poorly.

First I was met with school zones... Then when I adjusted my speed to make up for slowing down at the school zones I was pulled over. And got a $145 ticket which combined to the $12 I spent on MF's, Staci and my lunch makes Whole Foods so much more expensive than you thought.

I was speeding... I admit it. It was the first time I was caught speeding since my second week of driving I ever sped because I'm a law abiding citizen and follow all rules.

But while I admit I was going just a touch over the speed limit I don't agree with the ticket I got... And here is the letter I would write to the city if I wasn't scared I'd be thrown in jail, stalked to make sure I don't break any other rules or ignored when I call thinking I have CO poisoning when it's just a cold.

Dear (city) Police Department.

I know what you're thinking right now: Holy shit is Kenny really sending us an open letter? I thought he just did that to companies asking for free stuff. I'm blown away. I need to call someone.

I'm still shaking I'm so excited.

Well yes I am writing you a letter but please calm yourself down a bit.

Here's the deal. I got a ticket the other day but for a crime I did not commit. I'll admit that I may have been going 44 in a 30 in order to get lunch to my cute little sick munchkin of a boy in time for him to eat at school but I wasn't given a ticket for going fast in a 30 mph zone (which for readers is an actual citation you can get... I thought people just got generic speeding tickets and paid based on the speed but here they separate them by posted mph and then ding you more if you go 20 over that speed).

I was given a ticket for: Speed faster than reasonable and prudent.

My speed was in fact prudent. The Google definition (and really all others) say prudent means: Acting with or showing care and thought for the future.

That was in fact exactly what I was doing.

Let me break this down for you first by giving you a little history and then telling you my I was in fact prudent in showing great care for the future.

First off let's just get out the skeleton in Minnesota's closet... Drivers here suck. The norm for Minnesotan's is to drive at a minimum of five miles under the speed limit... And those aren't the assholes who are texting or talking on their phone and driving slower.

Most of the time I drive here (approximately 97% of the time) I'm blocked in my some super slow driving Minnesotans. I've paid my dues in the slow driving movement they have going on here and I feel I've built up the ability to go slightly over the limit once or twice because of this. This was my first time... Seriously.

Second, in this instance I had to slow down in front of some school zones along my path. The signs here all say "slow when children are present" or some such. Seriously that's so Minnesotan too... What does that mean? When children are in class? When they are on the sidewalk? When they're in the middle of the street?

I prefer the old fashioned school zone between 7:00am and 4:00pm on school days... Makes a lot more sense you know. I also will except the super old fashioned version of that which uses "betwixt" instead of "between".

So I did my duty in slowing for those schools and was just making up for that lag in speed... Pretty reasonable to me.

Also it was 11:20am and the temperature was (at most according to the day's high) 16 degrees outside. NO ONE WAS OUTSIDE. There was a zero percent chance of a pedestrian or any such being in the way while I was driving... No one to harm and so the speed was rather quite acceptable.

And now we're coming down to the home stretch (which was actually where I was in my travels)... My super cute son who has super cute long lashes and just makes you want to gobble him up...

Was super crazy sick in the morning. Coughing wheezing and all that... It was heartbreaking. And we were going to take him to the doctor but plans changed... So I needed to get him lunch before the kids at his school ate...

Because if he didn't have lunch he'd of course be hungry. He'd be sad. He'd feel his parent's didn't love him because we didn't pack him lunch. He would cry and his super crazy cute long eyelashes would drip with tears.

The time I needed to get it to him was 11:25. I was pulled over at 11:20 not three minutes away from his school.

I was in fact prudent... Your office was not... I'm not calling for his badge... You expunging the ticket and a written apology personally delivered to me with a double espresso and a nice biscotti is really all I need.


Also since I know you're such a fan of mine I will print this out on paper that is suitable for framing and sign it if you'd like for a low fee of $25.

Yours always... Kenny

January 12, 2012

I'm Sick

The kid got me sick again so I was going to do a little photo of blocks saying "I am Sick" but I was too tired to do that...

Like I a bit ago new posts should be coming up next week... But I thought I'd remind you of a couple about being sick...

They're from my Vick's VapoRub sponsored posts series.

The first, which is actually the latest, was updated because I forgot to add the best part of being sick that time which was me thinking I had carbon monoxide poisoning.

The second is about MF mistaking the inner ear for noodles and me laughing at him while he's crying out of frustration... Really father of the year stuff.

And I might as well link to the third which is about MF raging like a teenage girl.

Seriously I'm father of the year.

January 9, 2012

Legos aren't sexist... People are just bored

We're still on a break and I don't want you to think this is a backslide situation... I'm still semi out of order for another week...

But people piss me off and sometimes it's better to get timely stuff out in a timely matter...

If you read the news, and I don't mean Yahoo News which I do read but lately only seems to cover star's hairdos and funny basketball shots, then you may have heard of Lego's new product called LEGO Friends and people are pissed and pissed and pissed and most likely freaking bored...

This is sexist... Funny, but sexist... It's also not a Lego Friends set.
And this is where I start hating people (in general not specific folks).

The folks coming against Lego friends are missing a few huge points.

  • While geared towards girls anybody can play with them... I learned this when I purchased a set and wasn't asked sign a waiver saying it was for a girl.
  • People can still buy regular sets for girls. I actually can't say I'm 100% correct there (I have an email in to Lego) but I haven't seen signs saying they are for boys only.
  • Girls are different from boys and, at times, like different things than boys do. 
  • The new sets are 100% compatible with regular Lego which makes them also compatible with Duplo and Quatro (which was discontinued but we have a set.. Thanks Kate, Matt and Jacks)
  • Lego does not force people to buy any of their sets... This was news to me. If your kid likes Legos but doesn't like castles they don't force you to buy castle sets... Same with space, Star Wars and of course Lego Friends

One article I linked to above says "The Ladyfigs are compatible with regular Lego sets, but the regular sets won’t be available to kids unless parents are willing to buy both kinds." That to me is ridiculous logic... The Lego Friends sets will not be available to kids unless parents are willing to buy them. No toy will be available to kids unless parents are willing to buy them. Food will not be available to kids unless parents are willing to buy it.

The fact is the new colors rock... I think some of the sets are really cool... MF will get the treehouse if it's still around once he's old enough to play with the small parts... On a side note he's moved to regular Legos because he likes them more than Duplo... But we only let him use the larger pieces... We're sizist.

So what's wrong with making more doll-shaped mini figs? LEGO did a ton of research and that's what girls wanted... They wanted back story... And yes they wanted to build.

The sets aren't dumbed down... They're as intricate as any Lego set... It's still about building, it's still about creativity... It's just some different colors and some different figures...

I would hands down buy these sets for a girl if we had one (as I said I'd buy them for MF)... And I'd buy any set she wanted plus she'd get my big 'ol box of Legos...

You can do the same, or not... You see if you think they're sexist the best way to get that across is not buy them... If no one buys them then they go bye-bye.

Oh... And a friend of mine's five year old girl saw the Friends sets and wanted one... As her first Lego set... So there... She got it and now can enjoy Legos and building and do whatever the hell she wants with them on whatever set she wants now that she knows about them... She is having fun.

Also... If you want to read what I think is an Businessweek article about Lego, the new Friends line and how a shoe made Lego rethink their products check this article out... It's kind of fascinating.

And this is of course not some hidden ad post... But if Lego finds me and wants to send me a shitload of products they can... I love the company and when I was a kid I wanted to work from them when I grew up... I grew up but I'm not working for them so I guess I failed... I suck.

 P.S. I should say that I'm disturbed that Lego is making boys gay... The spaceman in the scene above is totally drinking a foo-foo drink and we know all guys (except me of course) that drink foo-foo drinks are gay... That cup and pink piece came from the Lego Friends set I got...

Also I'm a bit disturbed by the expression of the guy in green's face... I think the Lego bounce should kick him out but Lego doesn't make a bouncer... If they had he/she would have never let an archer bring his arrows into the club...


Since people are idiots I sent an email to LEGO asking them "Are you going to be asking people who buy Lego Friends products to sign a waiver, take an oath or anything similar to prove that the Lego Friends product will be given to and used only by girls?

Are you going to be asking people who buy regular Lego products to sign a waiver, take an oath or anything similar to prove that the regular Lego product will be given to and used only by boys?"

I got a reply:
Dear Kenny,
Thanks for getting in touch with us.
We would never make anyone sign a contract to play with any of our products. LEGO® would never want single someone out by any of our product lines. That would never be out intentions or hopes for our new or current product lines. Hopefully this clears things up.
A big thanks to the LEGO folk for the official reply. And there you go... you can let boys play with LEGO friends and girls play with regular LEGOs... And for those who bitched about the product please find something worthy to bitch about... There's so much more going on in the world.

January 5, 2012

Still Gone

I'm still on my hiatus but as promised I'm linking to some of my fave post from this year.

I know you appreciate this because an informal study affirmed that 99% of you use my blog as your homepage and spend over an hour a day reading with your morning coffee.

Two of my favorire posts are actually guest posts I did on other blogs.

The first was on The Haps which used to be called Harper's Happening's. It's basically a chronicle of the many narwhal tattoos that Mandy gets (she has 32 right now). I crashed her Mama Style thingy she does... enjoy.

The second was on Chelsey's Paper Mama blog. It's a notable blog because she's actually made of paper. It's a weird disorder that affects up about 300 people globally. It's actually quite sad because she must stay away from fire and if oil gets on her somehow the area it hits becomes translucent forever. Anyway I did a Q&A where I discuss things like how I don't read blogs and reveal how many pairs of shoes I own.

January 3, 2012

Back Soon

I just got back from vacation and need a little bit of time before I jump into the blog. Maybe a week. Maybe two. I have posts in the work and a new feature that I want to start up.

In the meantime a few times a week I'll put up some links to some of my favorite posts I did in 2011... That will be nice because it will give me a chance to actual read some of my posts which I don't really do...

New stuff will be up by the 15th or earlier... Until them enjoy:

A letter to my state rep asking why she hates gay people (look for a sequel soon as I got a reply last week)

And my start of the badges I created for parents... More of those to come too.

Took awhile... Here's an infographic of MF's first year

I finished this about a year ago just for my personal use but thought I'd share it. It's a visualization of MF's first year in n...