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Showing posts from February, 2012

I'm Just Waiting For HIm To Kill Me And Stab His Eyes Out

He's totally in a mommy phase... It's actually been a few months now although I thought it had ended. I really wish I had written down his phases... I think we're on the third mommy phase with me trailing with two daddy phases.

It's funny and heartbreaking all at once... The fact that I can't change a diaper is in someways a blessing... But the screams of "no, mommy do it" when I come near him to do so get old.

An incomplete list of things I'm not allowed to do (depending on the day/time:

Change diapersPut him to bedRead a bookGet milkMake dinnerPlay legosDraw fishSleep in my bedUse my pillowBrush his teethBrush my teethPut him in his car seatDrive him anywhereAnd more I realize it's a phase and like I said sometimes it has it's pluses (real smelly diapers) while sometimes it's just frustrating... But really I'm so bummed I didn't log the times he's in a mommy vs a daddy phase... Would have made a great graphic... Although in te…

I Don't Even Know Why We Have A Fucking Bedroom For The Kid

So yeah... We've been cosleeping... And not because we're some freaking hippies that think that's the only harmonious way to keep our family close.

Because that's how I saw cosleeper families in the past... And maybe how I see them currently. Not that I have anything against hippies or anything but as a totally non-judgemental person I like putting people into buckets and then judging them without really knowing all the facts... I'm an American.
It all started when we went back to the way that actually helped put him to sleep consistently. We'd read a few books and then lay with him in his room until he dozed off. But things changed a bit... 
First off every night he'd wake after 2-6 hours and want to come in our bed... It's so much easier to grab a kid's things and plop him in the middle than to deal with screaming for hours... Especially when you're half asleep... Plus it's kind of nice to have your kid sleep with you.
And he slept so muc…

The Tale Of Two Boys –or– I Get The Elephant

My penultimate post in my Vick's VapoRub series that ties to their feel better friend campaign... And this one naturally fits quite well as you'll see in the end.

The kid got me sick again. Crazy sick. Sicker than I have ever been. So sick that I should really take this time to apologize to my wife for not totally understanding how crazy sick she was getting the first few years she started teaching...

Kid's breed super crazy diseases...

And the thing is you'd think that if I got sick from him we'd have the same thing. And that if we have the same thing we'd be feeling pretty much the same.

But while we both had super runny noses, stuffed up heads, coughs and random bouts of sneezing he was a total ball of energy. He's been brought down by sickness maybe twice. But usually he'll be crazy sick and have all the energy he usually has... For instance the time he had pneumonia but was bouncing off the bed.

And while he was jumping all around I felt I was on m…

I Got A Fish Guy

I think if you have "a guy" for certain things your kid will look at you like you're cool. Because you're in the know.

Some people have bike guys, some have guys to help them tear down a house (I have one of those too) and so forth.

But the one that MF cares about right now is the fish guy. And the kid asks me to call him any time we pass the pet store so we can see if the fish are awake.

Miloh will yell up to me, Call the fish guy. And I'll grab my phone... And the conversation will go like this.

Me: Hey fish guy it's Kenny
Fish guy:
Me: Yeah, pretty good. You?
Fish guy:
Me:  I was wondering if the fish are still awake. We'd like to see them.
Fish guy:
Me: Oh, they're asleep because it's dark out?
Fish guy:
Me: Well tell them MF and I say goodnight.
Fish guy:
Me: You too... Bye.

MF: Call the fish guy again
Me: Hey it's me again. Just checking to see if you're sure they're asleep.
Fish guy:
Me: They are... Oh but they said goodnight to …

First Gen Dads: Don from Adeline's Daddy Blog

When I the idea for this First Gen Dad thing got in my head I thought it would just be some super light QA questions focusing on dudes who are stand up dads even though they didn't have a good influence... But as I started writing my QA I realized I needed to add a little background... These are questions I get asked every once in awhile from folks... I usually blow them off with short answers but in my post I decided to answer... And in Don's words "it got real".

So I really have to thank Don for being my first guinea pig after me.

Here's a little background on him from my POV... He's a dude I met on twitter and probably a guy I'd hang with if we lived in the same city... unless he thought I was an ass or such.

Don's a designer, one of the reasons he gets a plus in my mind, and a really good one at that... He's makes sweet little tattoo flash inspired shirts, design blogs (I'm talking sweet designs that I should probably hire him for except s…

I just can't mourn the death of a crack addict

This should probably be filed under "maybe this make's me an ass but..."

Yesterday morning on the way to work I heard a medley of Whitney Houston songs... It's not my style of music but I can objectively say she has an amazing voice. The thing about the songs is I had heard them all pre-1997... Because since she started doing crack she hasn't really produced any notable music... I realize she might not have been on crack but she was a fan of the drugs...

And she probably smoked some crack.

Perhaps I'm callous but I'll always see her as a crack addict... Michael Jackson will always be a child molester... But I don't listen to either of their music so it's easy to separate it.

Although Andrew Wood, lead singer of Mother Love Bone who died days before the scheduled release of his first album from a heroin overdose, will always be a fool and I think of it every time I listen to their album... While for some reason I always see Kurt Cobain's death …

I'm not saying I deserve a medal or an award but...

It's well documented that I was completely freaked out by kid before MF was born... And a whole gaggle of kids made me completely nutso and uncomfortable.

And really while I've changed a bit I still feel pretty much the same. Unkown kids freak me out. A gaggle of them is one of the most uncomfortable situations I can possibly be in... And for the record I probably don't like 97% of kids and still think 99% of babies are ugly (I just add that because it's true and I feared I would changed after we had a kid).

But the other day I picked the kid up from school and two of his classmates were there... And as I was looking at the fish tank Staci suggested I read a book to him... In hindsight I think she knew what would happen.

I grabbed a book and sat down to read to him... And then I was encircled by the two other kids in his class... Like drippy nosed hyenas with big puppy dog eyes and smiles they sat waiting for me to read a book.

And so I put my fear aside and rocked it.…

I guess it's probably my fault

If you missed my post from November in which MF is watching a bike video you should check it out. We still limit screen time for him but I always cave when it comes to that video or another of Danny MacAskill's videos.

Really though he's not just watching... He's participating...

He's moved from casual observation to full on mimicking... But without a bike.

Not sure how this came about but he loves it... I should mention in the first video he was supposed to be laying low as he had pneumonia... It didn't stop him. It did slow him down a bit.



On the second one we were getting ready to go to an indoor skatepark for the first time to watch the kids... He had a ton of fun while we were there but this is what we did to get ready. It's a small slice of a larger video which includes me bopping him on the head when I jumped over him... But I lost some weight and those pants were falling off... No one wants to see crack.



I'm still hoping to get a long version of jus…