A year ago Miloh was a week old. I'd spend nights in his room, underneath the glow of the Twilight Turtle, bouncing to soothe him as he cries. When the cries subsided you could hear the soundtrack of some Rockabye Baby lullabies playing on the iPod.
Because of pure exhaustion we forget when we realized that he slept better without the music and the turtle. I'm guessing the turtle batteries and iPod died on the same day. He probably went right to sleep and so they never came back on.
Right before Miloh turned one we dumped the pacifier. We saw that it was becoming an addiction and thought if we broke the habit now it would be easier than later. And since it was only used when he slept it was easy to change out his monkey Harlow for the pacifier.
What helped the transition was a new, well old, routine. The Twilight Turtle was back on and the iPod, packed with Rockabye Baby lullabies, made a return as well.
With a little fuss it worked well.
In Miloh's one year doctor appointment our doc suggested we ditch the bottle before bed and after naps.
Tonight was day one of no bottle. It didn't go as well as the pacifier.
He was not happy. I couldn't even put him in his bed. He'd grab Harlow and his elephant and walk to his door balling as I lay 15 feet away with my head resting on his bed.
And so, a year later, I found myself holding Miloh in my arms, bouncing him up and down to soothe him while we looked up at the twilight turtle stars and listened to lullabies in the background.
Let me start with the second half of the post title first.
Smonk You is going a bit dim... not totally dark... no comments on the dim part.
I'll still be writing but maybe at a bit less frequency. I tried to write 2 posts a week because Blogher (my ad thingy) wants people who use them to post at that frequency... and time just doesn't want to cooperate.
It was so much easier to write a daddy blog before Miloh was born... I had a bit more time and was a bit less sleepy.
I still like doing it and all but it takes a lot of time... and I'd rather post less often but have better stuff.
So if you dig this blog the best thing to do would be to grab my rss feed because then you'll know when I post without having to check back.
Like I said, it's not going away, I have posts in mind, infographics to catch up on and infographic ideas in my mind, and I have some posts I half started and never posted but are still cool.
So thanks for reading, thanks for sticking around if you do... I hope you do.
And now I wanted to share with you how much this blog is loved.... by spammers. If you write a blog you know how sneaky spam comments can get, if you don't here's a little insight.
I get a lot of spam comments that go into my spam comment folder. Those usually have links. But then I get some that look like real comments but are in fact spam. My hypothesis is the spammers leave the comment and them later google the phrase they left to see if it was published. If published I assume they know it's an unmoderated blog and spam the crap out of it.
So here are some of the most flattering spam comments I get (click the pic to enlarge).
Here are some of my favorite parts:
- Someone who's writing is sub-par thinks mine is top-notch.
- One dude calls me Jeff, but thinks it's an awesome post so I'm cool with that.
- Someone used my post in a lecture to motivate his students
- I learned the word "chuffed"
- Someone thinks my blog is high quality enjoyment
- Some dude dinged me in a spam comment (a tad more polished... fuck you)
This weekly tally is actually a week and one day in order to take it through January 21, the day before Miloh turned one.
People have asked how we kept track of all this... Staci made a sheet we (and our nanny, my in-laws and such) would fill out. It all started because we had to track his stats because of his jaundice... so one night when I was loopy from no sleep I started these.
I only planned on doing these weekly graphics for a year... so this is the last. Some folks are probably happy about that, some could probably care less and maybe some are bummed.
Although these are going away I'm still behind by a couple of the month long graphics and my infographic for the 3rd and 4th quarter of his first year.
Then there are some others I have bouncing around in my head.
Thanks for checking them out.
We lost Miloh. I don't mean lost him like we can't find him, I mean he no longer needs us... at least when he goes to sleep. Just under a year and he's ready to be on his own.
During our trip to California we realized we had a huge miss... he didn't have a cuddly stuffed animal. He grabbed our friend's kid's stuffed animals and melted into them. He has lovies and other small things, like the Deglingos Baby Blankie Rat that he'd sleep with but wouldn't totally cuddle.
He was missing a cuddly animal that was a good size to sleep with.
It sounds all obvious that we should have given him one... but babies can't sleep with things like that for so long and we didn't prepare... any way getting one was the first thing on out list to get him.
We were going to get something the weekend we got back but in the meantime our nanny gave him a little monkey stuffed animal that we got at Staci's baby shower to sleep with. Miloh liked it so we were cool with it, but we ordered the Jellycat Aardvark to be his go to.
When the aardvark arrived he saw it and melted into it... but it wasn't what he wanted to cuddle up to when he slept. He wanted the monkey.
Pre monkey he was getting in to a phase where he would crawl out of his bed and cry for us at his door until he fell asleep two minutes later.
Now he could care less that we leave the room. When we put him to sleep he grabs the monkey so tight and so securely and he goes right to sleep.
The monkey has replaced us. He now looks for it when he goes to sleep and needs it... he's attached.
We were just calling it Monkey but it wasn't as inventive as our name for the Aardvark which is Ardy.
Then I thought of how he cuddles with the monkey when he sleeps and it reminded me of another monkey. The rhesus monkeys that were in the surrogate mother experiments of Harry Harlow.
I should say that Harlow's experiments were really cruel, the surrogate mother ones being less cruel than the most. But while not good times this one is interesting.
In case you're not familiar, he'd give baby monkeys the option of two mothers. One was all chicken wire but had a bottle and could therefore feed it. The other was soft and warm but didn't feed. The monkeys would spend up to 22 hours a day on the warm fuzzy monkey and would only leave to go to the other when it was hungry.
The baby monkeys were so cute and cuddly with that fake fuzzy mom. So while I'm not a fan of naming good things after kind of evil people I think Harlow is a great name for Miloh's monkey because he cuddles it so cutely.
So Harlow it is.
A few months ago Staci, Miloh and I took a road trip to the fabulous city of Dubuque. My iPod was packed in the trunk... oops, there wasn't enough music on our phones and data service was spotty so Pandora was hard to use.
Life's tough, right?
So we were stuck with the middle of nowhere radio... which in all honestly I like because it's always an interesting search and it's the only time I get to hear Boston or Kansas.
And while listening to an 80s station I made the comment that music has changed in that when I was kid the songs about women where more pining for them, rather than being so confident that the guy would hook up... like I feel they are today. And that insecure pining was great and became the soundtrack to all John Hughes movies.
Which made me wonder whether my observation was right, which of course it is because I'm never wrong. It also made me wonder what the top songs were when I was born.
Also what will be popular music when Miloh starts finding out what he likes and buying some records... okay, those don't exist but you know what I mean.
So I decided to compare the music from the year I was born (1973), the year I started buying records (1985... I might have bought sooner but I looked at Top 100s and this is when I the stuff I really liked hit the top 10) and music from the year Miloh was born (2010).
I'd add the music from the year he turns 12, but honestly if I could somehow do that I would be spending my time in the music industry so I could gear up to make a killing.
So here are the Top 10s of those years... with my thoughts on them.
Number one:
1973 – Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Ole Oak Tree Tony Orlando and Dawn.
Wow... I'm starting with a snooze fest (sorry to my mom, mother-in-law and all their peers). I have to admit when I checked out a video of it I thought Tony Orlando had a good voice... but I could only stand it for 40 seconds... and isn't that song supposed to be sung by a woman?
1985 – Careless Whisper by Wham! 1985 redeems the list. While it's your general break-up song he's totally pining... I probably listend to this song after each of the three times I was dumped in 6th grade. One of those times was by Kris Petty when she dumped me at the Jefferson memorial on a class trip to D.C... f-ing bitch.
2010 – TiK ToK by Ke$ha. Here's the deal...Staci leaves the car radio on the station that plays this song... and sometimes in the morning I'm too tired to change it... so on the times I drive I often hear it... and I simultaneously hate it... like really hate it... but it's so freaking catchy that it ropes me in. Then I remember I hate it... and not only because Ke$ha puts a dollar sign in her name. I'd talk about what it means but there's no really meaning to it at all.
1985 – Like A Virgin
2010 – Need You Now
1985 – Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go by Wham! Two songs in the Top 5. Remember when whole albums were good? Dudes got Jitterbug and Doris Day into the song lyrics and still hit number one. This kind of gets to my point about pathetic guys singing about getting dumped... or in this case left alone in bed in the morning. Also, a little known fact is George Michael came out one minute and seven seconds into the video... just check that outfit and tell me you didn't guess it back then.
2010 – Hey, Soul Sister
Number four:
1973 – Let's Get It On
1985 – I Want To Know What Love Is
2010 – California Gurls
Number five:
1973 – My Love
1985 – I Feel For You
2010 – OMG
Number six:
1973 – Why Me
1985 – Out Of Touch
2010 – Airplanes
Number seven:
1973 – Crocodile Rock
1985 – Everybody Wants To Rule The World
2010 – Love The Way You Lie
1985 – Money For Nothing
2010 – Bad Romance
1985 – Crazy For You by Madonna. I totally thought this song was about me.
2010 – Dynamite
Number ten:
1973 – Touch Me In The Morning
1985 – Take On Me
2010 – Break Your Heart
So that's the comparison of the songs from when I was born, when Miloh was born and when I started buying music. The thing is my hypothesis is unproven because songs from dudes singing about girls apparently just don't make it to the top ten year-end charts. Something to think about if you're a musician.
Still I'm right about guys from the 80s being more piney and the ones from now being super cocky. I like the pining... and like I said before so did John Hughes. Imagine Duckie Dale if you had to use the music of today for the soundtrack.
And I think we can all agree that while the songs of the year I was born weren't all hits the songs of this year were mostly crap... That's a fact.
Ladies and gentlemen... Rick Springfield.
Miloh's first word... He's been babbling a lot but now he seems to say this with purpose.
Oh...and he's walking. I should have mentioned that in my last post but he was kind of just taking steps by accident...
not sure why most of the videos we take of him involve us laughing at him... I mean with him.
All of the following events are real. The names had been changed but then changed back again because there was no reason to change them in the first place. And because I'm too lazy to sit down and write a compelling narrative they are in plain-old-boring chronological order.
At 3:45 AM on Christmas Eve I woke up and decided to have breakfast as going to sleep would be fruitless because Staci, Miloh and I needed to be out the door at 5:00 AM for a 7:30 AM flight to El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Ángeles del Río de Porciúncula... now known as Los Angeles.
There was some fantastic snow on the ground which would be great for boarding but would slow down a drive to the airport. But we knew we'd be good with two and a half hours of time. Then we realized we only had two hours because our flight took off at 7:00 AM.
We got to the airport in great time... which made me happy.
Then I was hit with a startling realization. I had gone from a guy who could fly through a Black Diamond expert lane in an airport to a guy who could barely get through.
I realize the idea that I can fly through a lane contradicts my post about my probs with airports in the past... but when not being hassled I could fly through.
Going through the metal detector I had my first misstep (if you don't count having to pass Miloh back and forth to Staci three times while we got our stuff in the grey tubs) I forgot to take my metal card case out of my pocket... I threw it on the conveyor belt, it went in my grey tub and all was good.
Then I had to get my stuff back in my bag and such. No help this time as Staci was in another lane with the formula and bottles and stuff while I took Miloh. I did what anyone would do... I put Miloh on the last grey bucket in the conveyor belt, put my laptop in my bag, got my shoes on and started to put my belt on. That's when the TSA woman said (in kind of a weird way) "he's cute".
Then she stared at me and mumbled.
Next she said something about him being in the tub and I said "yeah." And she said "you need to take him out of the tub" followed by "obviously we can't use the conveyor belt with a baby in a tub" to which I replied "not obviously."
I got silence... so I said "because if it was obvious I wouldn't have him on". I felt I needed to explain myself. Maybe it was that I was super tired... but really I think it was because I was leaning against Miloh and watching that none of the grey tubs knocked him.
But who cares (seriously why are you reading still?) I made it through the line without any scuffle. We got to the gate, a bit late, and got situated in the last row of the plane but we had an extra seat which was golden.
That's when the panic set in. Would we be that family with "That Kid"? We'd been on a plane before and Miloh was awesome. But Miloh was only four months old then so we weren't sure if his calmness would still be around... especially because he's a ball of energy.
Luckily he was fantastic, he slept in my arms the whole time.
First stop was to see some of our old friends, Jody and Ethan and their two kids Kai and Maya. We only had a bit to say hi to them as we were headed to Santa Barbara to hang with Staci's sister for a few.
We went to a Mexican place and had a mini revolution: Miloh loves guacamole. Totally freaking loves it. We never even thought to give it to him... he loves Avocados and we've had guac around... but it never crossed are mind to feed him guac.
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Yeah he likes it. |
When we got to Staci's sister's house it was good times. Miloh one of his aunts, her boyfriend and one of his (Miloh's) cousins. He was exhausted and slept like, well... a baby.
Yeah this is getting long but here's the Cliffs Notes of that stop. Miloh was super happy there... he talked up a storm... way more than he does at home. He got to see the the beach and his first ship wreck... seriously a ship wreck... how many of those have you seen?
He also crawled in the sand for the first time. He crawls so fast that he looked like an alien from the movie "Aliens" when he was on the go. I'd have said the movie "Alien" but if I recall correctly there's only the one alien in that and it's big. In "Aliens" I think there was a lot of small aliens... that's what he looks like, except with less teeth.
After some awesome days in Santa Barbara we headed back to The Valley.
He was loving playing with his new buddies, Maya and Kai.
The next morning we all headed to Disneyland.
As a little aside some friends have asked me if I'd ever movie to L.A. The answer is always yes. And then I get on the highway.
I can't stand L.A. traffic. I'm an aggressive driver and I think the folks out there are complete assholes... and that's really odd as usually the pace of life is slow. Have you ever seen the movie "Falling Down"? That's how I feel any time I'm in traffic there.
Then we got to the Happiest Place on Earth. Not really sure why they call it that. For the first 20 minutes I wanted to punch people... and I'm not a violent person at all. But a combo of the traffic, the crowd and a bunch of idiots made me a bit bitchy.
However I will add a bit of a spoiler and say we wound up having a great, perhaps magical, time there... but still the Happiest Place on Earth shouldn't leave you with clenched fists in for the first 20 minutes.
At Disneyland Miloh saw the Winnie the Pooh, Eeyore and Tigger. He put his arm out and said "pblpptbtht" which is his word for dog or cat (or maybe just animal.) He's too young to know them and I've only read one story to him so it was really cool to see his eyes light up at them.
Anyway the day wound up great and we all headed back home.
The next day was a bit epic. We met The818 in the 818. Morgan is one of the first blog/twitter people I started talking to after I started this blog so it was awesome to meet her. In her post about said meeting she mentioned how it's weird meeting internet folk... and it is. She said I could have been a Ted Bundy, and I was totally thinking that. I could be some crazy dude who made up a wife and kid to meet people. It would be pretty crazy, but I'm sure it happens.
The instant Miloh Met her daughter Dee he crawled up to her and gave her a hug... but he's not super suave and instead he almost ripped Dee's head off. But in no time they were buddies and he even started feeding her (or shoving crackers in her mouth... depending on how you see it.)
Afterwards we had a little bubble tea, went out with our friends for an adult dinner and the next day we headed back home. Again Miloh was fantastic on the plane.
So yeah, it was a good vacation.
And here are some random things I didn't weave in:
- Miloh got his first set of wings.
- I finally found a pair of sunglasses that fixed my pea-head.
- Arak is a great drink (we were warned 3 times to drink it with food).
- Disneyland should have a vasectomyland.
- That blue Halo Mountain Dew is pretty good.
- Congrats to my nephew who got into Vancouver Film School.
- The whole right side of a Chevy Impala is a blind spot.
- Miloh hated car seats in California.
- This post was one long ramble.