September 30, 2010

Lazy Thursday Picture Day

just hanging

spelled out his name

spelled out FPO but he's covering the F

he spelled xylophone

spelled his name again and now he's reading a novel

September 29, 2010

Weekly Wednesday Wisdom: Do things.

I recently got a couple new tattoos...I'll post about them later...but somehow while searching for tattoo stuff I happened upon Fuck Yeah Tattoos and I found this one.

From Fuck Yeah Tattoos...not mine.
The words comes from a Mark Twain quote:
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
It's so do everything you want to do...take risks....have fun....and don't take life too seriously. Have fun.

September 23, 2010

I will make you as famous as Neil Patrick Harris

Sure it sounds to good to be true, but it is in fact true...and I'll get to that soon.
This post was originally going to be an open letter but I decided to push that back a week to offer one lucky person fame beyond their wildest dreams.

You see I saw this thing called's basically a tweet auction to help the folks in Haiti. You can bid on a retweet or a mention from a bunch of celebs, like Zach Levy, Jessica Alba, Demi Moore and more (hah). What's cool about it is the money is going to a good cause. And I guess if you want some exposure to a bunch of folks on twitter it's a good way to get that.

So I wondered how I could get in on this action.

Then I recall something I said to Jamie, The Baby Guy, whom I met last week. I said that I was going to make my first million from my fake retweets. 

What's a fake retweet you ask? I'd say go to Urban Dictionary to find out but they rejected it. Seriously, they rejected it...have you seen that thing? It's filled with crap.

The now wildly famous Fake Retweet was born on a Friday when I was on the bus and was kind of bored. I thought I'd throw some star power behind some #FFs (Follow Fridays) of me. The first few I called out that they were fake, but that went away because, well that was just too boring.

Here are some of my faves, one is from Neil Patrick Harris and he's pretty hot right now.

So I thought while you all could go to TwitChange...and maybe you should because it is a good cause...those tweets are probably out of your budget. Unless you want a mention from Nichelle Nichols which is currently going for $10.50.

Instead I'm offer you the opportunity to have me fake retweet you. Plus instead of having the money go to someone you don't know it will go to me. Or maybe I'll feel generous and buy something for Miloh (or Staci), yeah I realize that puts me in the same circle as Gandhi or Mother Theresa...I can handle it.

You can head to ebay to bid...and I know you want to. What I'll do is throw out not one, not two but three...yes three...fake retweets. They will all be different but will look something like this:
Oh, you're so sweet RT @yourtwitter name: I think People Magazine should name @smonkyou as sexiest man of the year
And if the bid goes over $25 (is there anyway it won't? I mean really I think we're looking at more like $2500) I'll throw in a smonk you T-shirt. The shirts were seen at the Blogher conference.

So don't now. Please, don't everyone go to ebay at once...I don't want to shut it down.

Oh, and if you're still reading and not bored, you can head to Urban Dictionary and submit Fake Retweet...I'm sure their denial was just a mistake.

September 22, 2010

Weekly Wednesday Wisdom: dress the job you want

There is a bit of a theme going on with some of these...a bit of rebellion. I don't mean it to be like that...I just want Miloh to grow up, be his own person.

Wisdom for Miloh: dress the job you want

I was told that a few times and on the surface it seems like a really obvious statement. I mean you should always think of your next career move, or next 2, and preparing for that early is a good idea.

So yeah...dressing the job you want makes sense.

BUT...there's actually a lot more to that comment then there seems.

First time I was told to do that I ignored it. I think people should be judged on what they do not how they look. Obviously there are exceptions for people who come to work dressed like shit, but in my case I was wearing dress shirts, ties and a sport coat to work...I was told to wear more suits...blech.

Second time I was told to dress the job I want I ignored it again...

The third time the comment was said it hit me. I did want to advance my career, become a Creative Director and such. So I should in fact dress the job I want.

Problem is the job I wanted had me wearing jeans most days and allowed me to express my style and wear whatever shoe I PF Flyers.

So think about it. If you're in a job or any situation that is making you change who you are to advance really think about if that's where you want to be...because it's easy to go somewhere else and do the same thing but keep your style and self respect. And then you'll be happier anyway.

Ladies and gentlemen...The Clash (video quality sucks but it's worth a watch.)

September 20, 2010

Week 34 in numbers

September 10-16
FYI A lot of the times I pick my colors from a nature photo. This one came from a this pic of a coral reef.

September 18, 2010

Mommas don't let your sons grow up to be Vanilla Ice–or–Robbie Van Winkle you've been John C. Mayer-d

Generally I like to add the "anti" into "social media" and so I haven't done any of those blog work shop things...but Becky from Mommy Wants Vodka had a great idea she's calling a John C Mayer. If you're too lazy to click the link it's basically about getting a blog post ranked high in searches of a celeb.

So I'm going to Vanilla Ice, or should I say Robbie Van Winkle, the hell out of this post.

Why did I choose Vanilla Ice, Ice "Robbie" Van Winkle, Vanilla Ice Winkle or plain old Rob Van Winkle? Not really sure.

I was never a fan of Vanilla Ice (or Robbie Van Winkle) at all. When Ice Ice Baby, written by Robbie Van Winkle himself at the tender age of 16, came out I was listening to punk I never bought one of Robbie Van Winkle's albums.

But I find the guy a bit intriguing...he was on that VH1 show Surreal Life in which he was pissed that people still called him Vanilla Ice instead of Robbie Van Winkle. Really? I have a feeling that people called him that because beside stop, collaborate and listen every word from his hit was either Ice or baby. (By the way why is the collaborate in there? There was really no opportunity for collaboration.)

While this is all about me getting ranked on a search for "Robbie Van Winkle" or if the gods of 90s rap shine on me "Vanilla Ice" I want to weave a little content in here that doesn't suck...

So I'll say that you I won't let Miloh grow up to be like Vanilla Ice. Not just because of the horrible clothes, atrocious hair and shaved eyebrows. A Robbie Van Winkle is okay, but I suppose not ideal, but you don't want a Vanilla Ice kind of kid.

The reason is because the Robbie Van Winkle is ashamed of his past. He wants to pretend that Rob Van Winkle is not the same person as Vanilla Ice. While his music and his running man dance were freaking horrible they weren't criminal, it was kind of what a lot of pop music was doing at the time, so it's not like he needs to hide.

He shouldn't be ashamed of the Vanilla Ice-ing of Robbie Van Winkle, he should have embraced it, maybe even pull a William Shatner and laugh at it (Shatner is laughing at himself right? or is he totally oblivious to what's going on?)

I'm going to let Miloh know that whatever he does in his life is fine. Never to be ashamed of himself, even if he Vanilla Ices himself. I'll teach him to realize that everything he does is what makes him who he is (we're talking later on of course because really that's advice more for post college folk...he really hasn't done a ton yet.)

Because the truth is you can't wash the Vanilla Ice out of the Robbie Van Winkle...because to us he'll always be Ice Ice Baby.

Now if anyone an please let me know what this post says that would be awesome. Oh and please digg, delicious, or somehow link the shit out of this post to help it get page rank...thanks.

And here's a pic of not Vanilla Ice.

Not Vanilla Ice

September 17, 2010

I Found Booger On My Wrist

I found a booger on my wrist.
It is not mine I must insist

Not mine as from my nose twas not.
My son's the one who owned the snot.

There is some spit up on my shirt.
I hope that it can pass for dirt.

A cough a sneeze went through the air.
That's how the goop landed there.

Oh god what's that? This smell's absurd.
Oh shit my nails are packed with turd.

I have some pee there on my pants. 

I wasn't doing the wee wee dance.

While trying to change the little dude's diaper.
That thing came out like a nasty viper.

And now it looks like I couldn't hold it.
This day looks like I should just fold it.

P.S. Don't steal this (there has been a lot of blog theft lately) like everything on here is copyrighted.

Week 33 in numbers

September 3-9

September 16, 2010

Back to the future - or the post I can't write.

A while ago I was doing a guest post on another blog and asked the folks on Twitter what kind of post they wanted to see. I got a tweet from @ihubby (see his blog here) suggested I do a post kind of like a Lost flash forward about how I see Miloh growing up.

So for months, a lot of months, I've been trying to write that post. And I can't do it.

Every time I think of it his future is either my present, an alternative future that I could have had, Staci's present (but less female) or an alternative future that could have been Staci's (but less female.)

The thing is we're really starting to seem some of his personality, so if you extrapolate what we see now you can figure exactly what he'll be like in 20-30 years.

You'd get Staci's super caring and gentle nature with her love of people...he strokes our faces and arms when he's tired and needs to sleep and smiles at everyone.

From me he got a sense of adventure and problem solving things in his own way...he's climbing over everything and would rather climb over one of us than crawl 1 foot to get something he wants and he figures out how to take things apart the second he sees something new.

But still I can't write the post.

I can see him loving bikes when he's a kid...maybe he'll be good enough to make a living from freestyle BMX. I think I'd much prefer that from him being a pro snowboarder...I mean I'd love him to snowboard and all but the sport is progressing at such a crazy speed and it's getting a bit dangerous. However snowboarders probably make a lot more cash than I'm torn...because if when Miloh goes pro he'll definitely support us.

Thing is with action sports the popular ones change so frequently...maybe biking will be the hot one when he's older...that would be nice.

Maybe some of the videos we're watching will spark something in him. We don't watching a lot of TV but sometimes it's needed. We put a bunch of nature shows in our Netflix Queue and he loves The Living Sea.

I used to want to be a marine biologist so I guess that's in his doesn't pay as well as a pro snowboarder so that would be a little disappointing...but I think I'd come to terms with it eventually.

Or maybe he'll be a photographer, designer or artist. He's got creative chops in his blood and he's already loving the camera. He seems to love the side opposite the lens so I don't see super model in his models are tall and the chances of him being tall (even though he's at 75% height now) is slim.

Perhaps he'll take a little bit of Staci and a little bit of me and become a photo professor...that was a path my photo professor wanted me to go down...but at the time I wasn't objective enough so I didn't know how good of a prof I could be.

And if I wrote the post he'd be one of those things...probably a photographer because his love of cameras.

But like I said every time I sit to write it I get you all get babble. Perhaps I'll come back next year and try to write a better flash forward.

P.S. if there are snowboard or bike companies want to sponsor him you can get in at a really good price for the next 10 years.

September 15, 2010

Weekly Wednesday Wisdom: never grow up

Wisdom for Miloh: Don't grow up.

I can't really think of a good reason to grow up...nothing good can come of it.

You'll of course grow older, go to college get a job and all that...but that doesn't mean you need to grow up.

Staying young makes life so much less boring.

Ladies and gentlemen...Youth Group.

And P.S. I should say Happy Birthday to Jordan. It was this day 10 years ago that we went out to celebrate his birthday. I had a shot or 4 of Jager...that gave me a little courage to introduce myself to Staci for the first time.

September 13, 2010

Growing Pains: not just a stupid TV show from the 80s

"I never want him to grow up."

You hear that a lot...I'd go out on a limb and say that it's heard as often as "I neer want her to grow up." It's the mantra of all parents I know...but it's not mine.

I mean Miloh is super crazy cute...he's an awesome little dude that I can spend hours with him just hanging. I love every minute with him, making him giggle, having him give me weird super wet kisses on my nose (which wind up ending with my nose being bitten by super sharp teeth), army crawl races which I'm still wining and having him snuggle when he's super tired.

But while that's awesome I keep looking forward to the times to come...and I get excited. Actually every day when I wake up I hope he'll do something new...pop a new tooth, sit up on his own (he just did that), walk (I swear he's ready...he's hard to put in down in a sitting position because he wants to stand) say a word, make his first million.

I can't wait until he can toddle next to me around town. I'm eager to hear his voice and of course can't wait to find out his personality that is already shining through a bit.

I also can't wait to teach him things I know; how to snowboard, how to ride a bike, how to drive his mom crazy and a bunch of geeky science stuff.

This week I showed him my 1988 Haro Master (pic not my bike) which will someday become his. I'm actually planning the ways I'm going to fix it up, hopefully this winter, so it's back to riding condition even though it might be a bit early for him.

So I guess I just don't understand the "I don't want them to grow up" thing. I mean this journey is awesome and I can't wait for every next step. It would get boring if he stayed a baby the diapers really suck.

September 12, 2010

Private Eyes

well I guess not private but I'm assuming that Hall and Oates songs get billions of search hits every hour so I'm just writing this post for the SEO value.

September 9, 2010

Miloh's 2nd quarter of his first year in numbers.

If you dig the numbers, and I learned last week that some of you do, this is a good week since you get all 3 kinds of graphics I've done so far...there will be more coming. Some may see that as a threat, others may be happy.

Anyway for those who are keeping count I'd total up some of the numbers of his first 6 months. He drank 1048 bottles, 1184 diapers and we've taken 1587 photos.

Here's the graphic for his second quarter of year one.

click to enlarge

September 8, 2010

Weekly Wednesday Wisdom: Run with Kalli

Wisdom for Miloh: Run with Kalli

You and Kalli (or dog) already have an amazing were buddies from day one. She gives you give her toys. She lets you do anything you want to her (including manhandling her ears) and she cleans you off when needed...and when you're hands are full of food after eating.

When you go for walks with her you giggle so much...actually you giggle many times you see her. When she's happy you're happy and you giggle more than any other time...and she in turn gets happy.

When you're bigger you'll walk with her...but when you can you need to run with her...she loves it and it makes her so happy. So you in turn will be crazy happy...maybe you'll giggle too much to be able to run.

September 6, 2010

September 1, 2010

Weekly Wednesday Wisdom: look at a girls eyes

Wisdom for Miloh: if you like a girl remember her eye color

You know that girl you like? Check out her eyes...remember the color. There will be a test.

You see it is, in whatever color eyes the have, completely unacceptable to forget what color a girl's eyes are. There is however one exception.

If however you become a piano playing singer who wears crazy glasses you can forget the color of a girls eyes. In fact if you become that person it will be super sweet to forget the color of their eyes.

But while I want to support you in everything you do I don't think you'll be a piano playing singer. There is some musical talent in the family, not from your mom or me, but there is absolutely no good singing voice genes anywhere in your blood...sorry about that.

Ladies and gentlemen...Elton John

Took awhile... Here's an infographic of MF's first year

I finished this about a year ago just for my personal use but thought I'd share it. It's a visualization of MF's first year in n...