smonk you: the best freaking daddy blog ever

I finished this about a year ago just for my personal use but thought I'd share it. It's a visualization of MF's first year in numbers. Diapers (with and without poo), bottles and photos taken are the lines in the background. The markers are milestones. The ones on the top are regular milestones you'd see on a chart and the ones on the bottom are things he did that were firsts. Hint... Use the toggle full page at the lower right of the image... I'm not sure why zoom.it is making it all bitmappy but it's pretty readable. Once I find something better to show this I'll update the image. I'll also be adding to this. I have a lot more I can put on it but I'm not sure when I'll get to it... Check back in 15 years.

background texture by grungetv on flickr

Did you know when you Google "percentage of urine in an average swimming pool" there's no real good answer? We know. about the composition of rocks on Mars but we don't know how much pee is in an average pool. Seems to me like our priorities are a bit off. I looked because of this post which is about me swimming in a pool with a bunch of kids. In other words I swam in a mix of 75% pee, 10% snot, 5% poo and 10% water. That's my unscientific guess. We started Miloh in a swimming class. I wasn't looking forward to being in the pool. I don't like pools. I like lakes, rivers and oceans. Staci likes pools but not lakes because they are filthy... I'd rather swim in sludge than high concentrations of pee. We were running late so I broke the cardinal rule of swimming pools. I didn't shower before getting in. I think this got some looks but here's the deal. I was clean and I don't see any need to shower before I swim in pee. Then as I entered...

Vomit never scared me. I'm not one of those people that puke when I see puke. I never want to see puke... But it doesn't cause a gut reaction. Last week, at least last week when I write this, Miloh was super sick. It all started at 11PM when he woke up crying. He'd been waking every night around midnight for a couple minutes so I thought nothing of it. Staci being the good mom asked me to check in. I went to his room to see no less than a gallon of vomit on in his bed and on him. Perhaps the gallon is a little hyperbole but it did look like more that could fit in his tiny body. We cleaned him up, switched out his vomity stuffed animals for clean ones and brought him in to our bed to sleep. It was probably more special for us that he was sleeping with us than it was for him. At about 1AM he got up and started heaving. For some reason my gut instinct (not sure why "gut" keeps coming up but it's the best word to use in context) was to put my hand out to g...

Miloh wanted to share with the world the most efficient way to use a fork. He's a bit too young to know how to use Adobe Illustrator so I helped him out with this, but basically I was just the hands. The concept and steps were all him.

We recently had Miloh evaluated and it was confirmed that he's throwing tantrums at a level of kids twice his age. Another interesting fact is that he can string words together in a sentence structure better than I can even though he can barely speak. I've been watching how his tantrums have evolved and came up with an infographic of the evolution of the tantrum. There may be other levels we haven't hit such as ones that include running away from home or yelling at your sister during Yom Kippur services when you're only four rows away from the Rabbi (hypothetically) but I'm confident this will bring us to the terrible twos as they seem to be stuck at level 6, and have gone down in the amount of time for each.

Less late than the last one. Click to enlarge or check it below

Just a bit late.

I'm kinda tired... as is Staci. We spent the midnight hours and later in the ER. You'd all have known where we were and when we were there if I used Foursquare, but I don't because I think it's ridiculous. As a marketer I think it's got great potential for genius... As a person I could care less. I don't care if anyone is as Target buying toilet paper. Or Starbucks getting a latte. In fact the only badge that really impresses me is the Nasa Explorer Badge earned by Douglas H. Wheelock for checking in on the International Space Station. But more on badges latter because I'm doing them one better... Or maybe 3 better. Back to the boy... Miloh has had a high temperature for a bit and it finally spiked late night Saturday. The nurseline told us to head to the ER. When we got there we expected a wait but Miloh was on cue and decided to puke as we were checking in. What's that mean you ask? It means he got a patent pending Smonkish Badge®, The First S...

Here's the last of my monthly infographics. It's late like the rest. I'm hoping to get the third and fourth quarter of year one up next week. Then one more bringing them all together. December 22 - January 21

November 22 - December 21

Just over three months late... Not so bad. October 22 - November 21

This weekly tally is actually a week and one day in order to take it through January 21, the day before Miloh turned one. People have asked how we kept track of all this... Staci made a sheet we (and our nanny, my in-laws and such) would fill out. It all started because we had to track his stats because of his jaundice... so one night when I was loopy from no sleep I started these. I only planned on doing these weekly graphics for a year... so this is the last. Some folks are probably happy about that, some could probably care less and maybe some are bummed. Although these are going away I'm still behind by a couple of the month long graphics and my infographic for the 3rd and 4th quarter of his first year. Then there are some others I have bouncing around in my head. Thanks for checking them out. January 14-21

January 7 - 13

December 31 - January 6 Two more weeks to go.

September 22- October 21

December 24-30

December 17-23

December 10 -16

December 3-9