But I realized that would be a huge pain in my ass...so instead we decided to take counts of day to day things in Miloh's life. Every Sunday or Monday I'll try to upload a new infographic of what that week was like. The weeks run from Friday until Thursday.
The post I was going to write morphed a bit...since Miloh's here...but this is what you'll get if you read my guest post; you'll learn what my best written school paper was about, you'll read about how the name smonk you came to be...this is a huge exclusive that even TMZ couldn't break, you'll read about my soon to be famous recipe for Vietnamese noodle salad and of course there are some musings about me being a dad and daddy blogger.
While you're there you can lurk around Mandy's blog...you'll see posts named after Duran Duran songs that include videos of Harper (a soon to be model) showing you how big she is and you can get Mandy's recipe for Vietnamese noodle salad which although it's probably good is a bit harder to make than mine and much more. And you can follow her on twitter @teammandy if you don't mind reading ZOMG a couple times a day.
And while you're clicking things you can click on the banner below so I get a vote...all you need to do is click...then I get a vote and an angel gets it's wings...true story.
I guess it all started the Tuesday before when Staci was at the doctor. The baby (we didn't know who it was yet) was a good size and pretty well cooked since it was only one week before the due date. There was some worry that because of Staci's gestational diabetes the baby would be to big for regular birth (I don't want to say the V word since it's not mine I'd be talking about...not that I have one...this is getting awkward) So the doctor wanted to induce. The date was set and we'd head to the hospital Thursday the 21st.
On Wednesday her contractions began. Before that she'd have some on and off but these we definitely different. Nothing frequent enough so we waited until our scheduled appointment.
Thursday morning came along and we had to wait for the hospital to call between 5:30 and 8:30. At 8:31, after not receiving a call, Staci called them to find out a time to come in...they told us 10:30.
We got some drinks at Caribou on our way. I went for my usual medium soy hot cocoa (dark chocolate) and she got a small decaf skim Ho-Ho mocha with half the peppermint. They are using new chocolate and their cocoas rock. (Hey Caribou please contact me about payment for that plug.)
When we got to the hospital we didn't know what to expect because, although we signed up for one of those orientation classes, we didn't go to it. A couple reasons...I heard from other bloggers that they sucked...and Staci had major back pain the day of the first class.
The room we were put in was huge and had a wonderful wall length bench/seating area that would become my home for the next 3 days.
Once we got all settled Staci was given pitocin and we were told to wait. The nurses would periodically come in to check her cervix, which was only at 1cm at check in, to look for progress. In between her and I would chat, check emails, I'd tweet a bit and play some Oregon Trail. I hate to say it but on the hard level I had trouble making the whole journey while keeping the entire family alive. Once I even died when I was oh so close. Tragic.
Fast forward to 3am on Friday...Staci got up to go to the bathroom and her water broke. It broke on the toilet but a bit got on the floor so the nurses went all CSI and grabbed a sample from the floor to see if it was actually her water breaking. It was. They checked and she was only 3cm dilated.
Next she was given Cytotec to help dilation, which did work...slowly. We were expecting it to go fast.
At 10:55am I tweeted this:
Staci is 9.513008e-18 Lightyears dilated...that's 9cm to those of you that don't have an app for that #WhyDidIJustQuoteAnAdCampaign
If I do the math backwards from when Miloh was born I would guess we hit 10cm around 1:20. I say "we" as if I had something to do with it. I mean I kind of did but that was 9 months ago...
The pushing began...contractions were coming every one to two minutes. At some point Staci was running a fever so they were worried about infection with her and the baby. They ran her blood work and it came up okay.
Pushing continued...she had now pushed for two hours and forty-five minutes. The doctor finally came in (to be fair we had a doctor really early to decide on treatment and this doctor came in to introduce herself early on) and said that she was concerned that Staci was in hard labor for almost three hours and the babies head hadn't crowned. She said at told us our options would be C-section or vacuum...and vacuum was a bad option because of the gestational diabetes and fear of big shoulders...plus it doesn't sound fun.
The doctor wanted to prep for the C-section but our nurse, who was AWESOME, told her she thought Staci could do it. Since she and the baby were both doing well the doctor allowed another half hour before we needed to make a decision. Although she okayed the extra time the doctor was skeptical.
Within 8 minutes there was a head...I saw it and it was crazy. The nurse called the doctor to come in. I think she must have arrived in a clown car because all of a sudden the room was filled. There was our original nurse, a second nurse, the doctor, a resident, a (semi-scared or timid) med student, a nurse in case of infection with the baby, a nurse to check the baby's blood sugar, a pediatrician and a few others. Staci's mom who had been there the whole time was also there, as was I. Staci was also there.
Next thing I know the resident and med students put on these welding mask looking things that have splash shield printed on the side.
OK now that the cast was there we could get back to the birth...the head had just crowned...three contractions later the head was out a bit more...and it turned back and forth. I think that's when I said "oh my god that's crazy." I said that a couple times. Then at some point I almost said to Staci that she should see this...I didn't mean with a mirror that she didn't want...I meant she should come around and look...I was excited so I wasn't thinking right. I stopped myself before I actually said it.
Then the baby seemed stuck...I was wondering why the hell the doctors were so calm with my baby's head stuck in a tight space...but the baby was not in stress...i however was...then there was a snip snip.
A couple more contractions and the head came out a bit more but the doctor was again scared that the shoulders would be too big...another snip snip.
Two more pushes and our baby popped out...the resident flipped it and I yelled, "it's a boy! It's Miloh!" Then he Miloh in with a big wail.
Right away they threw Miloh on Staci's chest...she didn't have her glasses on and wasn't really looking around...then all of a sudden she sees a ton of people in the room, people wearing the splash guards and a slimey squirmy baby on her...she said it was a bit surreal.
There were tears everywhere.
I cut the umbilical cord, the resident kind of pulled it a bit wth a three inch opening where I could cut. I think I may have snapped at him that he should move his fingers or they would get cut...they were close to where I was supposed to cut. I wish I could say that cutting the cord was magical...it wasn't for me...but now I can say I cut the cord.
Then I grabbed my camera and started taking shots...when he was in the receiving bassinet/warmer thingy I did that thing that paparazzi's do where they just hold a camera overhead and snap hoping for a good shot...it seemed natural for me but the doctors and nurses were laughing. This did not amuse Staci as they were looking at me and not sewing her up...sorry Staci.
I gotta say Staci was amazing in there. She held together so well all throughout labor and it was some crazy amount of pushing. I was expecting the scene you see in sitcoms where the woman is yelling like mad...there was none of that...however with 3 pushes to go she did say she'd be cool with keeping the baby there until it turns 18 becase she was getting exhausted.
The next day when we had a massage at the hospital...a present from her mother and one of the best massages we've ever received, the masseuse said something like, "remember not only was a baby born but a mom and dad were born too." At first I was thinking, duh of course we were born...we're here right? Right after I thought that the quote processed and I started to get all weepy. It was such a cool thing to say.
And that's how Miloh's life began...now our lives will never be the same.
This site started as a pre-daddy blog but will continue as a story about Miloh, Staci and me.
We are a bit tired but I get a proper post up soon. In the meantime here is what we know about the genetics post I wrote the other day.
- Eyes: genetics say brown because but they are blue now. This may change.
- Hair: genetics say dark. Right now it is a great surfer dirty blonde...this may also change.
- Widow's peak: looks like he has one...an awesome one.
- Earlobes: genetics said unattached and they are.
- Only 5 fingers
So, yeah, we're super excited and pretty freaked out...if a week ago you asked if we were ready the answer would have been yes...then once we knew the date we were going in, vs. being unsure, we totally felt unprepared...funny how that works.
Next post will be a baby pic, name, stats and all that.
By kenny friedman on Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Typo warning...this was sent from my phone.
Last Friday on Twitter I gave it an 87% chance that we were having the baby that day.
There are a few scientific reasons for that; I missed the bus and had to take our car so Staci was kind of stranded, I had a migraine trying to shut me down and a bunch of people thought it was the day.
We're still waiting.
The reason I had a headache was because I have been clenching my jaw at night (I may be stressed about having the kid.) The clenching leads to jaw pain which leads to a headache that has triggered migraines.
I used to do it a lot to the extent that I'd have small chips of teethe randomly break off. All the chips were repaired and I haven't been clenching in about three years.
But the other day one of those tiny chip replacement/fillers broke off. It's hardly noticeable...not like The Hangover.
Even though it's a tiny chip I want to get it replaced. To do this the dentist matches the filler to your tooth color.
I drink a lot of coffee and black tea which has stained my teeth so I wanted to whiten.
Long story short...don't fall asleep for 4 hours with the whitening trays on (if you're using the 30 minute kinds)...your teeth will hurt like a bitch but will be visibly whiter.
As I said in number one there is no baby yet...we still have 9 days left before the due date. We're both hoping the baby comes soon...Staci because it's just not fun right now...me because I think it's just a bit too cliche for it to be late.
No offense to all the first time kids that were late...
There was some sort of football game here in the Twin Cities this weekend. I say it like this because until Thursday night I had no idea Minnesota had a good team this year.
Now they're one (I think one) game away from the Super Bowl and that reminds me of a super early conversation with Staci's doctor. He said that quite a few people will schedule induction or c-sections a few days before the Super Bowl so they don't miss it.
I asked if our baby was late and born on Super Bowl Sunday if we could get a discounted price since it's an unpopular day. Apparently that's not how pricing is decided in the medical community.
And last as I said earlier, and most moms know, this is probably the least fun time during pregnancy. So a big shout out to Staci for being so awesome.
Okay...I promised a post on our floor bed and the whole deal with floor beds in general. Honestly right now as I start this post I don't know a ton about them. Staci does because friends of her's have used them and she read the book Montessori from the Start...plus it follows tenets of the Montessori philosophy which she teaches. I've absorbed some of the info from her and such but we'll learn together as I wade through some websites.
That all being the case think of this as a Cliffs Notes version of floor beds...and I have learned from experience that teaches are correct that you can't pass the test by reading the Cliffs Notes alone.
It's easy to explain what it is...just a crib mattress on the floor. You can add a floor bed frame, which is a 3 sided wood frame, but people we've talked to see them as a waste and a place for shins to bang into. You also need to set up the room so it's a completely safe place...every thing at reach is age appropriate...hide stray cords and all around baby proof the room and place a baby gate at the door.
We found it a bit hard to design a room aesthetic around a floor bed as we're used to matching furniture to cribs...and height of shelves and such are therefore taller.
The why of floor beds is harder to explain. Basically it allows the child to explore his/her environment on their own.
When a child can roam free and explore their whole environment he/she really gets a good sense of who they are in the world which helps him/her gain self confidence. It allows the child to satisfy it's need for tactile stimulation from their environment.
Not only does it help children get a great sense of independence, it can keep parents from having to get up early while the child cries to get out of a crib...I like this part. A child can go to sleep and get out of bed at will. Once up the child keep him/herself occupied in it's safe environment while the parents know the child is OK and confined to the room via the baby gate.
If you use a floor bed you should transition around the same time you are planning on putting the baby in a crib, so after a bassinet, moses basket etc. It's really just used instead of a crib.
The most frequently asked question is what happens if the baby falls out of the bed. The mattress is about 4-5 inches high and once they are able to wiggle themselves out of the bed they are okay with the tiny drop. I've seen pictures of children sleeping halfway on the bed and half on the floor. Again it's not really a problem.
Like I said that's just grazing the surface behind floor beds. If you want more info you can check out that book Montessori from the Start, or one of these sites; montessori.edu, Michael Olaf or montessori.org.
If you still have more questions you can ask below and I'll try to have Staci answer them.
I probably should have mentioned last week that we hit 37 week mark. It's a great milestone because that means the pre-kid is full term. But let's be honest...it's a bit overshadowed by the next milestone...birth.
According to the math we're due in two weeks...well two weeks and a day to be honest. Now it's a waiting game.
For me it's very much like when I've quit a job. The time left is rather short...except in a way it's painfully long. I'm just kind of waiting around. Everyone knows this time waiting around is a bit useless. And my head is already in the game of my next job...being a dad.
I have nothing left to do. The room is done. I finally painted our back entrance which had paint swatches on it for two years. I made some mobiles for tummy time. Now I'm just hanging here.
Actually I do have one job...get myself some bars to eat while we're at the hospital...but it's like that last task at work. If I don't do it no one will notice except that one person who has to pick up my slack (read my mother in-law)...there might be a little bitching about why I didn't do it...they'll get over it quickly.
But what makes this worse is I don't know the exact time of departure...or in this case arrival. There is always the hope that your employer will come to it's senses and just tell you to not come in anymore (baby born early).
However in this case there could be the scenario where the baby is late. Think of how incredibly horrible if it was your last day at work and your employer says to you "you know what? We're gonna keep you around for a bit longer. No real reason and we're not sure how long...it will be less than two more weeks. Don't worry we let your new employer know...they are cool with it." Damn that would suck...and from what I hear happens to most first timers.
So this is my formal announcement of my two weeks notice and my plea to our pre-kid to make this time as painless as possible.
I should mention a couple things: I realize this whole time and the next few weeks have been/are more painful for Staci (or any pregnant woman.) Also my two week notice doesn't apply to the blog...this will stay around.
And I realize there is still some stuff going on with our pre-kid...but it's really more of that resting period when you make brownies and take them out of the oven...but really if you scoop up the brownie, put it in a bowl and put some fake ice cream (or fake ice cream alternative like real ice cream) on it, it tastes so freaking good.
That's enough analogies and run on sentences for today.
I recently read a great post from Jill at Baby Rabies about what it means to be a mom to a boy. It made me think about what it would be like to be a dad to a girl...because there is a 50/50 chance of that happening to me. But since we don't know what we're having it made me think broader to what is it like to be a dad, and that made me think of what I think a good dad is.
A lot of people tell me that I'm going to be a great dad...I really appreciate the comments. I said before that I probably owe a lot of that to my father because he was, and I'm assuming is still, a total ass. At a young age I learned things that make a bad person and tried to do the opposite.
And I did have some great male role models...and had role models of great dads of friends...but there is a subtle difference there that left me with not truly understanding what a good dad is, if that makes sense.
A quick Google search of "how to be a good dad" will bring a few hits that include things like; start the relationship early, spend time with your children, read to your children and more. I do think all those universal things are important but when I thought of what it takes to be a good dad the answer was...Eggs.
I'm not sure why but I got it into my head that a good dad makes great eggs. I often hear from women that their dads make the best eggs. Or I hear from guys that they learned how to cook eggs from their dad.
It might be a completely irrational thing but that's what I see when I think of a good dad...one that in the morning heats up a pan cracks a couple eggs open and serves his family.
Problem is I freaking hate eggs...can't think of the last time I ate one (as an egg or omelet etc, I do have them in tasty cookies and such)...actually I can't think of any time I ate them.
They were around when I was growing up...rumor is my mom makes some awesome deviled eggs. There were also things like fried matzo around which is kind of a cross between french toast made with matzo and scrambled eggs. I do remember tasting a bit once but I think it was spit out.
So if I can't make good eggs how could I be the good dad I see in my head?
I needed to analyze what an eggs are...yes I actually did this.
When I think of that dad making eggs they are often scrambled. They are often a breakfast food...Saturday and Sunday morning food. They could be cooked for breakfast for dinner nights which are the best meals ever. Eggs can be made fast, they are comfort food and everyone likes them (not everyone.) They can be cooked up late at night if a daughter comes home after being dumped by some boy or for my son who wants to chat about that girl from math class that he saw at the mall and kind of likes but he doesn't know what to say to her.
So what is a good substitue? I think I figured it out...
If you asked me three weeks ago I'd say waffles are the biggest pain in the ass to make...that's because we got a waffle maker for our wedding, five years ago, and only used it twice. I used it once then years later Staci used it. But we never really read the instructions so the waffles were messy, and we never had a good waffle mix so they tasted like Eggos. The waffle maker got put into storage.
Then a few weeks ago we had some friends over for brunch and I was determined to use the waffle maker. I found a mix that looked great...it's called Kodiak Cakes. Looked up the waffle make manual online and gave it one last try. I thought they were awesome. So good.
And they fit all the criteria that I saw in eggs. They are a breakfast food, they can be made any time, they are fast and easy to make. They are a vital part of breakfast for dinner, and everyone loves them. I can make them late night for my daughter if that jackass dumps her or for my son if he needs to chat about that girl from math class that he likes.
Now that waffles are my egg I want to make them mine...I want to figure out a recipe so I can make them from scratch, preferably eggless. I have already been searching recipes and figuring ways to Frankenstein them to make them my own.
So I'm going to add that to my to do list: be a great husband, be an awesome dad and make the best freaking waffles ever.
I screwed up a bit in trying to stretch the baby room into three posts because I showed all the good pics of the room yesterday so this is a bit redundant, but I'm going to call out what we have in the room.
So here goes...
The wall shelves and cube bookcase are from a super exclusive Swedish design store called Ikea. We went there because it fits our design sense and because it's pretty inexpensive, plus their quality is much better than it used to be. We also want to let our room evolve with our child so we didn't want to lay down a lot of cash on things that could be soon dumped.
The shelves are Lack and the cube bookcase is Expedit. The bins on the Lack shelves are actually from Lowes. The Expedit bookcase fits our changing table really well.
The bee is a Prince Lionheart Wheely Bug. They come in two sizes, we got the small one. It also comes as a lady bug or cow.
The black dot is an awesome print by my friend Jesse LeDoux. He created it so at 3 feet away it appears to be just a black dot on white. When you're closer than that you see that there are eyes, nose and a mouth on the dot and some awesome intricate white illustrations on the white. Hard to explain but check out Rotofugi where you can see what it looks like. Buy some LeDoux prints.
You might look at this and worry that there is so much stuff out that the our baby can get into. We're taking a Montessori approach to our room so things will be available to our baby. We will re-org stuff as our baby starts crawling to get rid of choking hazards and such and make sure everything at reach is age appropriate.
I talked about the chair in an earlier post.
Etsy. I like the design but honestly I'm underwhelmed by the print. The paper is nice but up close you can really see that it was printed from a printer...I'm a print snob. It was only $15 but I'd be happy pay more for a screen print. Still not bad for the cost...just wish she'd pull some screens.
The frames for this and the LeDoux print are from American Frame. Great prices, great quality and they ship to you quickly. Only downside is the have to use plexi vs. glass because of shipping.
The metal M (for Matzoh or whatever the name is that we picked) is from Anthropologie.
I talked about the fox earlier.
The awesome pillow in the back is the same design as the one on the rocker chair. We picked out the fabric and a good friend made it. They're awesome and I keep telling her to go on Etsy.
We separated the sides a bit by color. Robin's nest is for play and exploration, random off-white color is the sleep side so it has less going on. There is another Expedit bookcase. The CD player will be replaced by speakers for our babies first iPod Touch. The Lykta lamp that is a bit hard to see is from Ikea. It's a cute white glass lamp that gives off some good light.
As I said really early on we're doing a floor bed. I know I said I'd explain the whole deal and I didn't yet. I promise there is an 87% chance I explain it next week. Any way the mattress is a Sealy made from soybean foam.
We're going to add some art or mirrors to that side.
This chair is a one-of-a-kind. Staci's great-grandfather owned a furniture store and the had small samples of the furniture in the window. Not sure how it was originally upohlstered but it became Staci's dad's chair and was recovered in a tan pleather with fake cowboy brands on it...Roy Rogers was popular at the time. Then the chair beonged to Staci and her brother.
Now it's been recovered and will be our babies. It rocks which is cool. Also it's the same exact color as Zoggs and he loves sitting in it so it's fun to see just his eyes at times.
I wrote about the bear earlier.
The no skateboarding sign is behind some of the clothes in the closet. It was borrowed a long time ago...longer than the statute of limitations. I was a freestyle BMXer growing up...all my friends were skaters...still I want my baby to know the law of the house. It is however one rule that I'd be OK if it was broken.
The closet (no pics) is the Rubbermaid "Configurations" closet system from Lowes...it was super easy to put in. The have 2 different kinds of Rubbermaid closet systems...get the one that has a track at the top. It's like Elfa but 1/3 the price.
This was supposed to be a quick low down of the room but it was longer than I thought. Well...hope you all like it, we love it.
Yeah it's a tiny little prize but it's so no one cheats via Google or such and because I'd really just want to buy a drink for the winner but if you don't live in the Twin Cities it might be hard to meet up.
Some folks have been getting on me that my posting frequency has tapered off a bit. That's because really at this stage in the game it's a lot of waiting around for me...Staci's really going through all the shenanigans. SO I'm going to take what could be one post and make it into three.
We finally finished the baby room and I thought I'd show the progress...today a little video, tomorrow some pics and then I'll point out some of the stuff in the room Thursday.
As I started to paint I decided to do some time lapse of the process of getting the room together. As it this was my first try at time lapse with my Mac I was figuring out frame rate as I did this...so it's a super short (25 secs) little video. I think I'll add to it once we get baby M in there. Also I'm gonna try to re-cut it a bit as I have only worked with Final Cut and I need to figure iMovie out a bit. So think of this as a teaser to the room reveal and a trailer to something in progress.
Also since we have 2 different colors of walls in the room I only captured the painting of the blue one...because painting off-white over white would look ridiculous.
The song is Love Astronaut by Murder Mystery
I got the inspiration to do time lapse from an email of a guy named Fabrice and his wife making a custom crib for their baby...there video is much better than mine...
I caught just a bit of this week's This American Life...it was about predictions for 2010. There was a segment with a guy trying to figure out what his daughter would look like based on what he and his wife look like. A friend of his makes the comment that although we know dominance in genetics it's not cut and dry because our traits have inter-bred for so long.
If I remember correctly even though I have brown eyes our child could have blue eyes because I may carry some of the recessive gene..Staci's eyes are blue. But like the guy (I forget his name) in the segment I can use the dominant/recessive genes as a guide.
So if we go on straight dominance/recessiveness of genes here is what our baby will be like, unless noted the traits I pull out are dominant:
- Brown-eyed (me)
- Dark hair (me...although I had blond hair when I was young. I also had, and still have, sexy shoulders)
- Curly hair (Staci...maybe wavy because that is heterozygous)
- Full head of hair (both)
- Widow's peak (me....and I love it)
- No dimples (both but recessive)
- No freckles (both but recessive)
- No cleft in chin (both)
- Broad lips (I don't know what the specs for broad and thin are but I think mine are broad and Staci's are thinner)
- Unattached earlobes (me)
- Almond shaped eyes (both)
- Normal vision – sightedness (me)...Staci is near-sighted but that is recessive...I just got glasses this week but it's for minor astigmatism.
- Normal vision – not color blind or night blind (both)
- Only 5 fingers (both...apparently six fingers is dominant)
- Not double jointed (both but recessive)
- Immune to poison Ivy (me...I think I'm immune...Staci thinks she's had it)
- Will be able to roll it's tongue (me)
- Will be able to fold it's tongue (both but recessive)
I have an extra bone in my ankle called an accessory bone...I know because it lead to my feet hurting like a bitch which lead to some toe surgery a couple years back...the bone is still there. When I was talking to my doctor about why it's there he wondered if it's a vestigial bone or something we are evolving into...his guess was vestigial because it offers nothing good for how we walk.
I would have been more excited if it's where we are evolving to. Not sure if it's dominant, recessive or even genetic...I just know I hope our baby get's Staci's normal feet...but maybe a bit bigger though...she wears a size 4.5 show and it sucks for her when she goes shoe shopping.
Want to figure out what traits your baby will have? Check out the two links below.