smonk you: the best freaking daddy blog ever

For the record I still hate the word potty. I don't know a good alt to use. I like "you gotta take a piss?" and I've asked before and he says yes... So that could be good. That leaves the second number... As far as euphemisms I like taking the Browns to the Super Bowl... But that's because I'm from Cleveland I guess. Whatever you call it Miloh's doing it. I guess he's been doing it from day one but now he's in the groove because his toddler room teacher is the pee whisperer. She's much more than that of course but she can potty train kids like no one else. I mean he's just over one and a half and Miloh already asks to go potty (hopefully soon he'll be asking to take a piss). Also hopefully he'll learn that the middle of an aisle in a grocery store isn't the best place to say "potty" while pulling down his pants. And of course hopefully he wont hate me when his friends read this when he's a teenager. But reall...

Part of the collateral damage of having children is stringing words together in a way that you never thought you would. Here's some things I've said the last few weeks: "What made you think pouring granola over your head was a good idea?" During the diaper change that happened right after: "let me get that granola off your penis." "Why are you smooshing a sweet potato into your knee?" "You can put your balls on the table but don't let Kalli (our dog) eat them again." It was mozzarella. "That's not the (female) dog's belly button." "Don't tell mommy I taught you that." I forget what it was...  "They cat doesn't want to take the aardvark for a ride." "Why did you pee on my pillow?" Followed by: "it's not funny." Followed by: "it wasn't funny the first time, it's not funny this time." "Tell your doggy to go potty." It's a...

Winners have been picked for the giveaway. Todd was so nice as to give all who entered by the deadline a copy of his book. Thanks all who entered...I sent an email to you for your info. Please email me (info on the header) if you don't get that email. Rommel I could not find your email...please let me know your contact info. A bit ago I found Todd Lieman in Twitterland and he sent me a copy of his book ABC's for Expectant Dads: The Ultimate A- for Dads-in-Training. I'd looked at a bunch of expectant dad books and I thought most were terrible. I did pick up The Expectant Father and I liked it but I haven't looked at it in months. I think it's tough for dad's because we're just reading about what's going on with the mothers and it's easier to hear it from them. Staci is reading so much that she keeps me up to date on things I should know and I'm sure most expectant moms are the same. I'm also luckily in that doing this blog has connected...

People said I'd lose my fear of children as the pregnancy goes along. I'm proud to say that I have proved them wrong. Yesterday there was a kid in my office and I walked the other way so I wouldn't have to meet it. And before I go on I want to stress, again, that I'm super psyched that we're having a kid and psyched for this pre-kid to come out. I'm not sure what the deal is but kids really do freak me out. There are a handful out there that I feel comfortable around, and yes if I know you I'm of course talking about your kid. But most scare me. At the risk of sounding like an ass for comparing my pre-kid to a dog, I think I'll try a little analogy. I was never a dog person. I didn't really know how to interact with them. I was also a believer of the 'master is a slave' thing because you have to pick up their poo. But a few years ago we got a dog, and I love her. Plus she opened me up to liking other dogs. And while I don't li...

When I was a kid I had a plan for my life. I was going to own a pet store, specializing in the breeding of gerbils, and marry Drew Barrymore. Neither of these things happened. So knowing that plans don't always come to fruition I thought I'd start a list of things we plan on doing once we have the baby. I'll periodically update as things get done, fall through or are added. Cloth diapers: for me it's environmental reasons for Staci it's that and it helps for potty training. (FYI I hate the word potty.) A floor bed: floor bed instead of cribs are popular in the Montessori community and we plan on following some Montessori stuff since Staci is a teacher. We want to make our own baby food : it sounds like a good idea because we'll know what's in it and it seems easy. The baby will be vegetarian: I have been vegetarian since I was about 14 and Staci was for a bit before the pregnancy. The dog will not be ignored: everyone says it happens. Date night: after...

Until your wife is pregnant you probably haven't heard of HCG levels...in a nutshell they're hormones that can really affect what's going on with the pre -kid. There are charts of where you should be every week. Staci's were high in the beginning. This could have been a bad thing like a miscarriage or molar pregnancy...or it could have been twins. Since the levels were high, everything else looked good and things were too small to see on the ultrasound OK we thought we were having twins. When I was a kid I wanted to be a twin and I kind of thought it would be cool to have twins, plus we decided on one birth...so in a way twins would be great. No decision to have a second. Then I totally freaked out. I couldn't sleep for a couple nights. Our place is a two bedroom and with all the real estate bullshit I don't see us moving any time soon. I got to thinking how we could handle two kids. Even though big girl/big boy beds were a bit in the future I needed to see if ...