The worst thing ever... well, no the worst but not good.

By kenny friedman on Sunday, February 06, 2011

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Like the title says this isn't the worst thing ever. The worst thing would be is something happened to Miloh or Staci or any of our families... except my father.

Also I guess you could say "something happened" could mean something good, like winning the lottery. If you misunderstood that I'd have to say the lottery wouldn't be the worst thing... it would be pretty good... unless it happened to my father. Although if he won the lottery I'd give him a call and say "hey, I've been trying to get ahold of you for years but I lost your phone number."

But here's why I'm coming to the folks on the world wide web asking for some help. We unfortunately need to rehome our dog Kalli and maybe she can find a home from someone here.

This really freaking sucks and not something we're taking lightly so anyone who is even thinking of leaving some dumb ass comment should just go read something else.



Kalli's an amazing dog, so loving, so kind and she's full of spirit. She's the only dog I'd ever want and we are lucky to have her.

And if you haven't seen the video she loved Miloh early on.

The problem is Kalli's not happy in our house now that Miloh is mobile. She gets aggravated and stressed around him. She hasn't bitten and I don't think she ever would. She's not aggressive to people (she does have some food aggression with dogs but that's pretty normal).

Our nanny alerted us earlier this week that there was a problem. Then Thursday when I was hanging at home during the day I saw it too. Total fear in Kalli's eyes.

Miloh's just trying to be a loving kid. A kid who runs to hug her and lay on her. But like a lot of dogs she gets freaked. We make sure he doesn't crawl on her or grab her butt however we've realized that isn't enough. We know that the change of Miloh walking could be a temporary thing that Kalli needs to get used to so we called our trainer to see what she could help us with.



And she came by today. She's an amazing trainer and has a lot of education and experience... and with any luck soon she'll be getting a PHD in something animal related (I think she said animal behavior but that was hours ago and I forgot). What I'm trying to say is she's not just a yahoo that decided to train dogs one day.

She knows Kalli's demeanor and could assess her really well. She saw the fear and stress that Kalli felt.

We learned some great desensitization techniques to get Kalli used to being touched on her butt and stalked by a kid. We talked about how to separate them when we're both not around to watch the situation. Then she talked about Kalli and what is best for her and honestly it's a new home.

We could separate them until Miloh gets it and can learn to give her space. The problem is we're not sure how long that would take. And in that time we could be create more stress or alienation. We'll have to crate Kalli at times even when we're around.

And once Miloh does learn to give Kalli her boundaries Kalli could feel upset about being separated and stressed and therefore act out more.

In the end we asked our trainer to be honest about what we should do with Kalli... and she said that she thinks Kalli would be better in a home without kids... or at least one with older kids.

Like I said earlier we don't take this decision lightly. When we got Kalli we intended to keep her for life. She is part of the family.

Right after Miloh was born Staci made we watch Marley and Me. I had no intention on seeing it but it was on TV so we watched. I balled. That's how I saw Kalli. I knew she'd be best friends with Miloh... I couldn't wait to see it happen.

I'm sure some folks will think we're doing the wrong thing... Staci already got a comment on Facebook. Part of our decision is fear for Miloh's safety... although as I said before I don't think Kalli would hurt her or any person so that's a smaller part of the fear... at least for me.

The reality is we need to do what's best for Kalli. I hated seeing her afraid. I don't want her to feel stressed and unsafe in her house. I want her to have the awesome life that she should have. And I want her to make some other person or family as happy as she makes us.

So if you live near the Twin Cities, or know someone who does, and want a truly amazing dog please email me.



Here are her stats.

The Good:

  • We think she's an American Dingo although when we first got her they thought Shepherd/Pharoah hound mix. She's go the look and demeanor of an American Dingo.
  • She's six years old and fixed... no baby Kallis to worry about
  • She's all up to date on shots and all that stuff
  • She's got an AVID chip so if she gets lost she can be found
  • She's super sweet
  • She loves long walks (possibly on the beach)
  • She runs crazy fast so folks at the park will be amazed
  • She is a lover... she loves napping with folks
  • She's crate trained and can hang in a crate or in a room when alone (she won't tear up the room)
  • She loves playing and doing tricks

The not as good:
  • She eats poo... a lot of dogs do but it's gross
  • She attacks cars... not sure why but they scare her. If she's on a leash you're fine of course.
  • She will take off if not on leash... but all dogs should be on leash. She comes back but like I said she attacks cars so really it's scary.
  • She does have food aggression... but that just means you shouldn't have her around another dog and food. She could care less if we grab at her food.

If you think we're asses for wanting to find her a new home please keep it to yourself and don't leave a comment. Because if you do one of three things will happen. I'll delete it, people will leave comments about how you're an ass and then we have this huge debate on my blog or I'll decide to write a post about how you're being assholistic.

Update: I forgot to add that today we also learned that in some cultures people use dogs to lick the poo butts of children. And there is a theory that it could be only of the early reasons dogs were domesticated... mmm.



30 comments:

  1. This must be so hard. I'm sorry. :(

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  2. This is sad. You're right that it's not the worst thing that could ever happen, but it's not the best, either. She's a good looking dog and it will be hard to see her go but, and maybe I'll be in the minority here, I think you're doing the right thing. It may not feel like it, but you know that it is. Sorry to hear about the decision and good luck finding a home.

    If I happen, at random, to hear of someone in your area looking for an amazing dog, I'll pass this on. And I do know a few people in the rescue-dogs-from-shelters circuit, so it could happen.

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  3. Oh I'm so sorry. My mother is a dog trainer-she trains other trainers and as sad as it is she agrees (as I was on the phone with her when I read this) rehoming seems the best option. It's a heartbreaking decision but Miloh's safety...and Kallie's as well are more important. There might be rescue orgs in your area. I'll ask my mom to do some research.

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  4. Have you tried to teach the baby to stay away from the dog? I think you'll be surprised how fast you can teach the baby... just give it a go..

    Most babies are a lot more teachable than people give them credit for. I think you may be able to teach them to live together.

    JMO. I'm not assholish or judgmental. I do have both dogs and babies and went through the exact same thing. Good luck!

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  5. Bless your heart - I'm sure you will make the best decision for everyone in your family :)

    Another great place to list your dog is your local paper (or sometimes even craigslist, though I got spammed a bit). If you make sure that there is a nice size adoption fee you are more likely to find a serious new owner. We've adopted out some puppies that way and have found all of our pets through the local paper.

    Good luck!

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  6. Thanks all. We are going to put something on pet finder... and we would ask for a fee (which we'd then donate to a pet charity) because I worry about the folks that get dogs and sell to labs.

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  7. This makes my heart hurt for you :( This could not have been a remotely easy decision for you both. I'm so, so sorry.

    I can tell you from experience that even when kids are old enough to understand they should give dogs their space, they don't always do it. We're currently struggling to get Kendall to respect our two dogs more. He does things like fall on top of them and try to climb over them onto the couch. He also gives them great big bear hugs that he thinks are just fun. He's not grasping that these are things that could really hurt the dogs and, in turn, make them snap at him. Neither has hurt him, and I don't think they will, but it's still not something we want him to do.

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  8. Oh, and I would suggest staying off of CL or the paper. Those two places are hot spots for people collecting dogs for fighting rings. Not that you wouldn't thoroughly screen anyone, but you might have to do a lot more weeding out if you use those methods.

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  9. This makes my heart hurt. I can imagine how difficult this must be for you and Staci. I'm so sorry, Kenny. I hope you find a good new home for Kalli. :(

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  10. I'm so, so sorry. We had to go though something similar before our baby arrived (our dog had fear-aggression, and after thousands of dollars in training it was decided he had chemical imbalances we just couldn't cure).

    I've RT'd your link, and I plan to ask my employee who recently purchased a home if he's ready for a dog yet.

    I'll be thinking about you & your family.

    Becca

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  11. So sorry to hear about Kalli. We just had to get rid of our cat this week after he attacked me and our five-month-old baby. I know cats aren't usually considered as loved as dogs, but we loved our cat like he was a member of our family. It's so tough to give them up, but it's the right thing to do in the end. I'm sure Kalli will find another happy and loving home without the stress of having a baby around.

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  12. I am so sorry to hear this, unfortunately I can totally relate, we had to rehome our shiba right after Z got mobile, for essentially the exact same reason. It sucks, it was so very very hard, but as we get updates from our pup's new home, I know we did the right thing. We used craigslist and required a donation to the shiba rescue organization to ward off scary people. Good luck, I hope you find a new home soon.

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  13. I'm so sorry about this situation. I know you have Kalli's best interests at heart. Sure you could separate them and make her spend half her life in her crate, but who's that for? You. Not her.

    Meanwhile Gilbert is still crated at night (because he destroys shit) and he and Piper are separated by a gate a lot of the time when we're all home together. But that's because he tries to go to sleep somewhere and she tries to stack tea cups on top of him and then he wags his tail because "omg yay! someone's touching me!! And she smells like pancakes!" and she gets mad because the golden retriever tail of destruction and tickles hits her face and then he steals her stuffed animal when she's not looking and goes to sleep somewhere else (fabric toys being his own personal brand of heroin) and then she gets all pissed off because he smacked her in the face and stole her toy and he just wants to sleep so I put him on the other side of the gate because OH MY GOD I donn't have the energy.

    But seriously, he can sleep anywhere. And he's not afraid of her in the slightest. He's just as happy sleeping on the other side of the gate as he is on the tea party side.

    If he wasn't? It would be a different story. You made a commitment to give Kalli a good life full of love and safety. And she doesn't feel safe right now. It's your job to fix it and that's what you're doing.

    If you were a girl I'd be all "Hugs!" But you're a dude so... "Vans!" or whatever.

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  14. Sounds like she needs an empty nest type of family. She's a beautiful dog and I hope you find a great home for her very quickly. I'm sorry you've had to go through this. The best decisions are many times the toughest.

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  15. Good luck Kenny! That sucks for you guys, but I think it is admirable that you are doing what is best for Kalli and not just what is best for your family. In the long run all will be better.

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  16. I'm so sorry, I can't imagine :( My aunt and uncle live in Woodbury. I'm going to pass this post on to them and will let you know if they're interested.

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  17. We had the opposite problem when my daughter was born- our dog was afraid of her until she started walking, and he was very aggressive. We actually hired a boot camp trainer and it really helped but of course now that my daughter is almost 3 and walking the dogs (both) are fine with her.

    I'm sorry you have to part with your dog, though. I'm sure it won't be easy but she'll thrive in a home she feels safer in. Maybe when MF gets a little older you can get him a puppy that can grow up with him. Retrievers are supposedly very kid friendly breeds. I have terriers, and believe me, they are not inherently good with kids AT ALL.

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  18. So sorry for your situation. We live west of the Twin Cities and would love to take her, but have a 14 month old so it would leave us in the same predicament. I hope you can find a good home for her, I will pass the word if I find anyone who would love to invite Kalli into their home.

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  19. Thank you all for your comments and for helping spread the word. Kalli is an amazing dog. She is loving, kind, fun, active and loves being with people. She is sooooo wonderful. Just today I was home sick and she spent the entire time with her paws on me, head on my shoulder, breathing in my face as I slept. She is awesome - and has a wicked tail wag to boot!

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  20. I am so sorry for your situation. My husband & I had to make the same choice in September. Our male dog, Zeppelin, was just unhappy with his living situation since our son, Liam, came along. Once Liam started to crawl and become more mobile, Zeppelin became more unhappy. While making the choice to surrender Zepplin, to a pug rescue was one of the sadest moments (I know that sounds lame, but he was a member of our family)but I could not even begin to imagine how awful I would have felt if anything was to happen to my son.
    Zeppelin was put into a foster home until a forever home was found for him. The process was much quicker than we could have imagined (less than a month). We get updates on a regular basis from his human and we can even see in the photos how much happier he is. It makes my heart much happier knowing that he is doing well and enjoying life!
    Best of luck to Kallie!

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  21. I'm so sorry you guys are going through this. I know your hearts must be so heavy and this decision wasn't easy to come by. I have a TON of friends in the 612 - I'll pass this on and see if they'll do likewise.

    And because I'm from LA, I have to also suggest a pet psychic (though it sounds like you have her issues pretty well sorted). We have a great one: Dexter Del Monte (whispersandtails.com). She does remotes and is only $80 or so. Fabulous.

    Hugs to all of you.

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  22. I would hate to be in your situation and I hope you find a good home for Kalli. As others have said, it does not sound like you made this decision on a whim - you're doing what's best for everyone involved (including Kalli).
    I feel our dog is a member of the family too...but if I had to pick, obviously the well-being of my baby boy takes priority. And poor Kalli won't be scared any more.

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  23. thanks all for your comments. We actually had some good change in the last week.

    As I said before I think Miloh reads my blog, now maybe Kalli is too.

    We have been separating her in our room when the nanny's here. She would normally go apeshit if she was in the room when folks were home but she's mellow. I think maybe she felt like she had to be "on" and hang with Miloh all day.

    Since we've separated during and put a crate downstairs for her to hang in any time she's a lot less nervous.

    She's still a bit scared but so much less than she was the last month... so there's hope this could get back to the dyas of old.

    Plus Miloh starts school soon so she'll have more mellow time for herself.

    I'm sure I'll update in six months with a new video of them smooching.

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  24. Are you still keeping Kalli? Sad that you have/had to make this decision, but hopefully things work out for the best.

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  25. We are keeping her. She's still skiddish around Miloh but they kind of figured each other out. He's learned to get away when she gets agitated and Kalli has been cool about going to her crate to get some alone time

    thanks

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  26. I am so sorry for your situation. My husband & I had to make the same choice in September. Our male dog, Zeppelin, was just unhappy with his living situation since our son, Liam, came along. Once Liam started to crawl and become more mobile, Zeppelin became more unhappy. While making the choice to surrender Zepplin, to a pug rescue was one of the sadest moments (I know that sounds lame, but he was a member of our family)but I could not even begin to imagine how awful I would have felt if anything was to happen to my son.
    Zeppelin was put into a foster home until a forever home was found for him. The process was much quicker than we could have imagined (less than a month). We get updates on a regular basis from his human and we can even see in the photos how much happier he is. It makes my heart much happier knowing that he is doing well and enjoying life!
    Best of luck to Kallie!

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  27. Sounds like she needs an empty nest type of family. She's a beautiful dog and I hope you find a great home for her very quickly. I'm sorry you've had to go through this. The best decisions are many times the toughest.

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  28. I'm so sorry about this situation. I know you have Kalli's best interests at heart. Sure you could separate them and make her spend half her life in her crate, but who's that for? You. Not her.

    Meanwhile Gilbert is still crated at night (because he destroys shit) and he and Piper are separated by a gate a lot of the time when we're all home together. But that's because he tries to go to sleep somewhere and she tries to stack tea cups on top of him and then he wags his tail because "omg yay! someone's touching me!! And she smells like pancakes!" and she gets mad because the golden retriever tail of destruction and tickles hits her face and then he steals her stuffed animal when she's not looking and goes to sleep somewhere else (fabric toys being his own personal brand of heroin) and then she gets all pissed off because he smacked her in the face and stole her toy and he just wants to sleep so I put him on the other side of the gate because OH MY GOD I donn't have the energy.

    But seriously, he can sleep anywhere. And he's not afraid of her in the slightest. He's just as happy sleeping on the other side of the gate as he is on the tea party side.

    If he wasn't? It would be a different story. You made a commitment to give Kalli a good life full of love and safety. And she doesn't feel safe right now. It's your job to fix it and that's what you're doing.

    If you were a girl I'd be all "Hugs!" But you're a dude so... "Vans!" or whatever.

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  29. This makes my heart hurt. I can imagine how difficult this must be for you and Staci. I'm so sorry, Kenny. I hope you find a good new home for Kalli. :(

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  30. This looks exactly like my dog. I would appreciate it if you found out what type of dog he is! My dog has the exact same anatomy; ears; hound chest; dingo look; narrow body and nose. She also has the same markings. She has the white spots on her chest, and back toes. She has the black on the end of her tail and her nose!

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