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A is for Asshole –or– I Don't Care That Your Kid Can Say The Alphabet

It seems like a lot of parents of toddlers biggest pride is their kid can recite the ABCs... They strut out like a trained seal and say "Say your alphabet."

I've been accosted by these alphabet spewing kids too many times to count... And it's freaking annoying. I feel like they're trying yo impress me... I feel like I should reach into my pocket and throw some spare change in the kid's hat... Too bad none threw one down before hand.

It means absolutely nothing. It's memorization. It's a song. A mnemonic but really it's a completely... Not like counting.

But I think parents feel that because their kid can say their alphabet that they are changing the diapers of the next Einstein.

This post isn't just about me bitching... Although I felt I had to throw that in so you all can spare the world of having to hear it...

It's about the other morning when MF was playing with his magnet letters... He knows a fair amount of them and Staci was working on the sounds...

B, Buh, Button.

L, Lllll, Lemon.

At some point she got to A, ah. And that's when I said "Asshole". I couldn't not. I was probably wrong but it felt so right.

That's when MF said "No daddy, A, apple. Not asshole."

He schooled me again.

Sidenote: this post was supposed to go up last week but I didn't hit publish... I didn't really know if MF knew his ABCs as a mnemonic because we don't practice it with him (maybe we're terrible parents). But this weekend he asked me to sing it and he sang along...

Next he asked me to sing the jumping song and then said it goes like this... And he proceeded to jump and then tuck and roll on the landing... No words (although apparently it has some)... The jumping impressed me.

Comments

  1. Neither of my kids learned that ABC song. But they do both know their ABC's. The 9 year old knows his sounds too.

    ReplyDelete

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