Potty talk

By kenny friedman on Tuesday, October 11, 2011

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For the record I still hate the word potty. I don't know a good alt to use. I like "you gotta take a piss?" and I've asked before and he says yes... So that could be good. That leaves the second number... As far as euphemisms I like taking the Browns to the Super Bowl... But that's because I'm from Cleveland I guess.

Whatever you call it Miloh's doing it.

I guess he's been doing it from day one but now he's in the groove because his toddler room teacher is the pee whisperer. She's much more than that of course but she can potty train kids like no one else. I mean he's just over one and a half and Miloh already asks to go potty (hopefully soon he'll be asking to take a piss). Also hopefully he'll learn that the middle of an aisle in a grocery store isn't the best place to say "potty" while pulling down his pants. And of course hopefully he wont hate me when his friends read this when he's a teenager.

But really that's not what this post is about.

You see Miloh has learned the glory of standing to pee. And he think, well actually knows, that it's the superior way to do it.

Problem is he doesn't understand that A) not everyone can stand when they pee and B) not everything you do in the bathroom works best while standing.

So if you're sitting on the toilet he'll say "ah, stand." Why kids sometimes and the "ah" before words I'll never figure out. But "ah, stand" sometimes isn't enough... Because if you don't stand he thinks you're doing it wrong.

If that's the case he'll try to forcefully get you standing up. Grabbing legs and pushing on you to make you stand. It couldn't be more invasive and more cute (or cuter... Whatever).

And so I'd like to update my thoughts on a post from a few weeks back where I postulate on what he'll be when he grows up.

I now think he's got a great opportunity to be the best damn bathroom attendant there ever was. Sure he'll be a bit in folks face but he'll tell them the best way to do what they're doing.

All I need to do is get a dish with gum and some really bad cologne to put in our bathroom so he can practice up on giving them out.

Then I need to contact TLC because I don't think they've done a reality show on bathroom attendants yet and what better to do it on than a bathroom attendant prodigy?



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