Frequently Asked Qs

By kenny friedman on Monday, August 10, 2009

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Even though this has been up for a bit under a month some folks have emailed me their questions. And since I was out of town last weekend, I haven't had time to get a post together, so I thought I'd start an FAQ. I'll add to this as more Qs come up.

Home come your so nonchalant about having a baby? It's a wonderful thing and you don't seem excited. Was it a mistake?
Well you probably didn't read my first post. I am incredibly excited and the kid was totally planned. I just have a different perspective on things and I'm a bit sarcastic, I wish there was a font to express sarcasm but until then you'll have to deal. Plus kids kind of freak me out so there is a bit of that going on...which leads me to my second question:

You say kids freak you out. What's the deal with that?
Wait a second...you did read my first post (same person asked both questions.) I am kind of freaked out by kids. I am the youngest in my family and there were no young cousins, nieces or nephews around when I was growing up. But as friends and family had children I started getting to be around kids. I have started liking the ones I know. I'm not going to lie and say I like all kids, but some are growing on me and I definitely want one.

Are you reading anything to prepare for the baby?
Yes. The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips and Advice for Dads-to-Be, Second Edition – I looked at a few books in the dad-to-be genre and this one stuck out. I think it's a good quick read for a first time dad, and maybe second or third time too. Each chapter is about a month of pregnancy. They begin with what's going on with your partner, physically and emotionally, what's going on with the pre-kid and what's going on with you. I also check out babycenter.

I'm sure I'll read more as things get closer I'll read more. Right now Staci is reading a bunch and she fills me in on the important bits. Here's some favorites on her end table: What You Didn't Think to Ask Your Obstetrician: Answers to 1000 Questions About Your Pregnancy,
Montessori from the Start: The Child at Home, from Birth to Age Three
and Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy

Why don't you plan on using a crib? Is your baby going to sleep on the floor? What if your dog or cats sit on the baby? I actually plan on doing a post on this but the short answer is, no the baby will not be sleeping on the floor. We're doing a floor bed which is basically a mattress on the floor. Some have wood frames around them. It gives the child independence on getting out of bed when it's up and it doesn't feel like a jail. That is over simplifying it but check back soon for more info. As for the pets, they are all great around babies plus we'll have baby gates up and close the door to the bedroom so no need to worry.

What do you have against Dora, Disney and Sesame St.? Actually I love Sesame St. And our kid will probably watch it as well as a few select shows. But I don't want our kid to buy into the marketing machine that is most licensed characters. Plus as far as TV and toys go kids actually prefer activities that are more interactive and creative. That's a great thing we learned when Staci became a Montessori teacher. With the right activities at home a child will pick the creative one over a doll or TV (again that is a huge over simplification but I'll write more about Montessori and kids soon.)

I hear about Montessori a lot but don't know what it is exactly. Well that's not really a question but I'll give you a pass. If I had to give it the elevator ride description I would say it's a method of allowing children to choose a path of self-directed hands on learning vs. just being taught to. Since I'm not an expert I'd suggest checking out the Wikipedia article or to check out Association Montessori Internationale or take a look at one of these two books by Maria Montessori The Absorbent Mind Secret of Childhood. The most important thing I've learned about Montessori is that the name is not copyrighted. That means I could open a school, call it Kenny's Montessori and sit kids in front of the TV all day. So if you are thinking of sending your kid to a school you should look into their accreditation. Look for AMI or AMS. Otherwise they may just be a normal preschool.

Why are you going to raise your kid a vegetarian? It's not healthy and it's cruel. Well there are a ton of cultures in the world that are vegetarian. They have been around for 1000s of years and are still going strong so I would say it is healthy. As for raising a kid veggie being cruel, well some would say the opposite is true.

I have some advice can I give it to you? Wow, you're seriously the first person to ask if we wanted advice. Yes, I/we will take any advice. We might not follow it but we'll listen. Just click on the contact link or leave a comment on a post.

I tried to leave a comment but it didn't work. I fixed that, however if the post is over 3 days old I have it moderated so it won't go up until I check it out. I'm not doing that to censor. I'm doing it so I don't miss a comment.

I'm sure I'll have more Qs to come, and tanks for stopping by.



7 comments:

  1. I have some advice for you...do what you think/feel is right - no one can tell you what is best for you, your family and your child as an individual. I have worked with many MANY messed up kids and have learned that parents can only do the best they can with the resources they have.

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  2. I'm with you on the being weirded out by kids thing. I was like that, too. Don't worry- it will ease up as you spend more time with them when your baby is older (and trust me, you will). Before my daughter was born, the idea of going to a gymboree class with tons of screaming toddlers, lots of singing, and a giant clown was akin to poking myself repeatedly in the eye with a dull rusty butterknife, but now I'm fine with it, and even sometimes like it. And I find myself really liking other people's babies- and even feeling enraged when I hear about child abuse, whereas before I didn't even bother reading anything about kids. Welcome to parenthood!

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  3. Thanks...it's actually weird how many people are coming out of the closet and telling me they aren't really fans of kids other than their own.

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  4. FYI - the Sesame Street that you love...is not infact the same Sesame Street of today. Sometimes they pull out the old clips that as child blew my mind (stop motion action that seemed totally implausible to my 5 year old brain...but made work all the angles for a few years till I figured out that could work), but for the most part it is a new Sesame Street that is more about feelings and everyone getting along. As Oscar would say, "Yuck!"

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  5. I'm so happy to hear you're raising your baby vegetarian. You will get a lot of sh*t about this, so gear up. My husband and I are still carnivores, but I'm working my way to vegetarianism slowly but surely. But anyway, we're raising our daughter vegetarian. We usually get two main complaints 1. That our daughter will be jealous of us eating meat if she can't have any (which may be true but is a bs reason to feed her meat) (but shouldn't be an issue once I finally go completely vegetarian) and 2. that vegetarians don't get enough nutrition, which is also BS. My MIL actually said every vegetarian she knows is "sick" (physically, not mentally). I suggest you read up on it, and have an arsenal of factoids at the ready, because some people think they're right and nothing but facts will ever convince them otherwise.

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  6. C...I've been veggie for 20+ years so I have the ammo loaded...it was a lot harder to be veggie when I started. I worry a bit what we'll do if Staci keeps eating meat once we have our kid...because you get in the 'damned if you do damned if you don't' thing because I'm guessing he/she will be pissed either way.

    But if you're thinking about going veggie you should check out two of my favorite cookbooks. They are both more mainstream style food and really good. The Vegetarian Meat and Potatoes Cookbook http://tinyurl.com/nndtgb
    and The Real Food Daily Cookbook http://tinyurl.com/m4sezt . The Real Food Daily has 2 awesome recipes for seitan that are pretty simple and super versatile...an awesome source of protein if you all can do gluten...thanks .

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  7. I have some advice for you...do what you think/feel is right - no one can tell you what is best for you, your family and your child as an individual. I have worked with many MANY messed up kids and have learned that parents can only do the best they can with the resources they have.

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