I learned a lot in college but I retained very little that actually matters. That's the thing about college...you learn a ton of crap you won't really need just because you have to get requirements in several areas of study.
One of the nuggets of information I retained, and think about a lot...I mean a lot...I've probably bored your mom with the story...it's a story of two monks.
I found this version here...it's the closest to how I heard it.
Two Buddhist Monks were on a journey, one was a senior monk, the other a junior monk. During their journey they approached a raging river and on the river bank stood a young lady. She was clearly concerned about how she would get to the other side of the river without drowning.
The junior monk walked straight past her without giving it a thought and he crossed the river. The senior monk picked up the woman and carried her across the river. He placed her down, they parted ways with woman and on they went with the journey.
As the journey went on, the senior monk could see some concern on the junior monk's mind, he asked what was wrong. The junior monk replied, "how could you carry her like that? You know we can't touch women, it's against our way of life". The senior monk answered, "I left the woman at the rivers edge a long way back, why are you still carrying her?"
The story is simple. The senior monk broke the rules he lives by for good. He knew it was the right thing so he did it and it was over, he didn't think of it again.
The young monk on the other hand kept his anger and frustration of not only something that another person did, but something that was in the past. Something that couldn't be changed.
I love the older monk's comment about why the younger one is still carrying the woman...monks are so cool with language.
It's not about forgetting the past, it's about acknowledging it and learning from it and letting it guide your future actions.
And the moral is mothers should never say "I'm not mad, I'm disappointed." At least I think that's what it is.