September 27, 2011

Yeah I did it again... Another open letter

Dear folks at Pentax

Today I got a fortune cookie that said "The thought that leads to no action is not thought--it is dreaming." And I thought about it for a second and then wondered why they used two dashes instead of an em dash. Seems a bit lazy to me on the part of the fortune cookie writer. But then I thought that I should write this letter today because I had the idea a bit ago and if I don't write it soon there will be no point. 

I should also note that the other day I got a fortune that said "Your judgement is a little off at this time.  Rely on friends." I chose to ignore that one as there was a double space after the period.

But I'm not bugging you just to tell you I eat a lot of Chinese food. I'm bugging you for a totally different reason.

I want to ask if you want to make me the happiest male-mommy blogger by sending me a Optio WG-1 camera. In return I'll make Pentax my semi-official point and shoot camera for the blog. I won't make it the semi-official camera because there's no way I'm giving up my 7D... I realize that mentioning another camera manufacture could hurt my chances in working with you... Perhaps that damn cookie was right.

Right now you're thinking "I should delete this message now..." But don't do that... Because at the end I'll tell you a stupid joke that will be worth reading the whole thing. 

You're probably also wondering why I think you'd want to work with me. Well here's why:
  • I am the only daddy blogger that has had a photo published in RayGun Magazine. Remember that magazine? It rocked and I shot Jim O'Rourke for one issue. I should say I don't know for a fact that no others have shot for the magazine but I'd bet some good cash on it.
  • I once got a massage next to Mat Hoffman two hours before I did a photo shoot with him. 
  • On a photo shoot Dr. Maya Angelou said she liked my hair. I was not the photographer on it, I was the art director... But still, c'mon that rocks. 
  • People often ask me for my extremely opinionated views on what camera to get. If the Optio WG-1 truly rocks I will let everyone know.
  • My blog get's a ton* of traffic from some of the most searched terms on google* "being a dad is the worst", "can you put peanut butter on fish", "egress freak scam", "happy fathers day weird holiday", "kenny naked", "pooping rabbit ikea play garden", "what fish can you catch with peanut butter", "worst things you can say to an animal", "how to determine the amount of urine in a pool" and more. *I may have exaggerated on the words ton and most searched.
  • I'm already brainwashing my son to love photography.
That last bullet point is actually quite important. He's 1.725 years old. According to the Guinness World's Records the youngest photographer to have a show was two years and two days old. Miloh already plays with a camera. If we get one in his hand that's durable (so I'm not scared of it breaking) he has a chance at shattering that record.
Imagine that... Pentax being behind the World's youngest photographer... Could happen.

Also in reality it's a no lose situation. If you have a summer intern right now you can blame them if someone asks why in the world you'd give some random dude a camera. You just say, "oh that was the intern's fault. We won't be hiring him/her. What a stupid thing he/she did."

But while you can blame someone else for a mistake you can reap the rewards if folks in your company love the idea and see the value. 

What will I do with the camera you ask? For starters I'll actually take snapshots and post them to the blog attributing the camera... I'm notorious for not taking snapshots... The curse of being a photographer sometimes... But I'll carry the camera wherever.

That includes to Mexico this winter where it will be submerged in water while I snorkel. It will aslo see the snow here in MN. And will probably be dropped often when my son get's sick of playing with it... He tends to just drop things he's no longer interested in rather than placing them down nicely... But that won't matter because of the shockproofedness of the camera. 

I'm not the biggest daddy blogger out there, that's a fact. I'm only 5'6" but you'll get an ROI if we work together. And I'm guessing it will be a positive ROI. If not you blame the intern, remember?

So c'mon let's do it. 

Oh, and here's the awesome joke. Why was the broom late ? It over swept! Hah. 

Kenny "Father of the soon to be youngest photographer" Friedman

1 comment:

  1. Wow. What a great letter. I really hope the people at Pentax get to read all the way through it. I mean, it's awesome. I hope it works and you get the camera. For Miloh of course. Good Luck!


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