The Great Water Class Swindle

By kenny friedman on Saturday, July 02, 2011

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Did you know when you Google "percentage of urine in an average swimming pool" there's no real good answer? We know. about the composition of rocks on Mars but we don't know how much pee is in an average pool. Seems to me like our priorities are a bit off.

I looked because of this post which is about me swimming in a pool with a bunch of kids. In other words I swam in a mix of 75% pee, 10% snot, 5% poo and 10% water. That's my unscientific guess.

We started Miloh in a swimming class. I wasn't looking forward to being in the pool. I don't like pools. I like lakes, rivers and oceans. Staci likes pools but not lakes because they are filthy... I'd rather swim in sludge than high concentrations of pee.

We were running late so I broke the cardinal rule of swimming pools. I didn't shower before getting in. I think this got some looks but here's the deal. I was clean and I don't see any need to shower before I swim in pee.

Then as I entered the pool of urine I noticed something that surprised me... All the adults in the class were men. I was not expecting this. I thought I would be the only one. So I looked at the class next to me... All men except for one.

We all got swindled. This is how I think it happened "Honey it's Father's day weekend. How great would it be if you spend time with (kid's name) on the first day of class?" But what the women were really thinking was "No way I'm getting in a swimsuit until I check out the other women in the class first. "
Miloh wasn't loving the first class... He held onto me the whole time digging his fingers in tighter than he has ever before. And he cried a fair amount. But he liked pointing to the fish on murals at the place.

The next week the numbers of men dwindled. It was me and one other guy. I was expecting all men that week too because I thought wives would say "It was all guys last week, maybe you should go this week." Had I bet I would have bet a lot of cash... I would have lost.

Second week went better for Miloh. He didn't cry, he splashed a lot and he even voluntarily put his head underwater and blew bubbles... No one even showed him how.

Back to the amount of pee in a pool. I did find one answer on Yahoo Answers, but based on a survey I found his number are off... He guessed too much pee.

According to a survey 17% of people pee in the pool. Here's the deal with surveys... People lie to make them look better... So I would adjust that number to 25%. Since you all know I love infographics you can check some out about the prevalence of pee in pools based on that number... And don't be surprised if I pop out a pee infographic soon.

And last know that according to South Park the acceptable level of Pee in a waterpark is 83%. If you plan on going to one this summer please call and ask the acceptable pee level of that park. Then leave a comment telling me how that call went.

Moral of the story: Pools are filled with pee and people who didn't shower before going in. Enjoy your summer activities.



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