Sweet Child O Mine

By kenny friedman on Saturday, February 20, 2010

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There was a big change that happened in Miloh a week ago. He used to be a total angel when he went to sleep. Yeah he'd wake every 2.5 hours to eat, but he wouldn't fuss much.

Then starting last Sunday he got really fussy...super-crazy fussy. And the thing is it affects me a lot because it's at the times that I'm watching him at night when he is at his worst.

Well this Friday night I shared my experience on twitter...so I thought I'd share it with all of you.

Interesting...The Stone Roses song 'So Young' starts w/ 'in the misery dictionary' cuz Miloh is so young and causing misery by not sleeping

So I think little dude like The Stone Roses because he is now out...

Tweeted too soon #fuckingA

Now my legs are asleep and I can't move them or miloh will wake...


Miloh is like his mom. He looks like her as a baby & gets crazy relaxed when his feet are rubbed. Wish I found out the foot thing a week ago

Miloh...remember how we just discovered you like your feet rubbed? Remember? Because it kinda seems like you forgot.

Miloh likes: carly simon, stone roses, inxs, liz phair. Hates: neko case, beastie boys, housemartins.

Gonna try the sleep while he sleeps thing...although he won't sleep so expect more tweets soon

Hope I don't jinx stuff but I played Luna to Miloh in utero and just put them on now...he is finally unwrestless #IWishThayWasAWord #Night?

Oh the irony of Miloh waking up wailing as Luna's cover of 'Sweet Child O Mine' plays.

I should probably mention that all those tweets came in the moments that Miloh actually slept, I wasn't ignoring him while he fussed and cried.

Next I should say that The Happiest Baby on the Block DVD is total bullshit...you may remember that I did a post about it in which I swaddled my cat. While the method is great, the 5 'S's do calm Miloh, the actual DVD is what I think is misleading.

Here's why I hate it...for some reason when I watched it I was completly mesmorized at how Dr. Karp calmed EVERY baby on the video...I wasn't thinking about the fact that they edited out any time a baby fussed. I also forgot about the fact that Karp is the expert at this...he has just a few more years practicing this than I do. But one of the most important things is, while he does show a couple babies being put down to sleep, they cut away fast...I don't blame them because of course they can't wait 5-10 minutes to show the baby is still calm.

With Miloh we might be able to calm him but once he is put to sleep he often goes nutso within 5 minutes.

However I did learn a couple things Friday night.

Miloh will stop crying if I stand up. I can sit and rock, or just hold him and he may fuss...but if I stand up and do the same he will often calm...and sometimes it's just me standing and not even moving.

I also got some info about Purple Crying from @mommyingaround on twitter. I'm wouldn't be able to do info about Purple Crying justice in this post so I really think you should check out the site if you have a newborn. But the gist is it's about the phase of life where babies cry the most. What's awesome about it is we haven't reached the peak (that's at about 2 months) and that it often lasts 3-5 months total.

It was great to read the info...but what I found really interesting is the section on soothing techniques. A lot of the info is things you hear already, feed baby, burp baby and swaddle baby etc. But there were two things in there that jumped out at me a little. Kiss the bottom of your baby's feet and smile at your baby.

I realize that each of these things can soothe the baby a bit...they like having their feet touched because they are so sensitive and the get calm when you smile. But the untrained psychologist in me wonders if these are really more about you.

I mean if I kiss Miloh's feet I get happy...I'm kissing a totally cute baby that I love. And it's been proven that if you're in a bad or stressed mood if you smile it will help turn your mood.

So what if these techniques work because your baby is getting your vibes? What if Miloh was all crazy this week in part because when he cried I was frustrated that i would get no sleep for work? Perhaps he started fussy but fed off my negative energy.

That could explain the whole thing with him sleeping when I turned on Luna...and as you can see from the tweets I got a good 2 hours of sleep out of him.

I originally played their album Bewitched to him in the womb once or twice because it's music that I love but also stuff I think would soothe a baby. So when he slept I thought maybe he remembered it or he was just soothed by it, and maybe he was soothed.

But maybe it was that I was really calmed by the music. Perhaps he felt that calm and fed off of it.

So I'm going to try things a bit different. Instead of just trying to calm Miloh I'm going to make sure I am calmed...in hopes that he feels some of that and it helps him too.

UPDATE: Jill who writes the Baby Rabies blog sent me a link to a  similar post she wrote a while back. Check it out.



7 comments:

  1. When Mommy is calm, I am DEFINITELY calmer... Take deep breathes, it helps!

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  2. I feel for you, I really do. I had high anxiety if I heard a baby cry for about 2 years after Tegan. You see he cried for 6 months straight day and night. All I got for you is a stroller ride on bumpy terrain and holding him swaddled while sitting on an exercise ball bouncing up and down. You would have thought I would have had killer thighs after this, but the zucchini bread offset any muscle gain. Stay strong.

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  3. Nellie went through an insane fussy period.. The first week and a half of her life she was great. She'd sleep in 2 hour increments the entire night... Then she rebelled against sleeping in her cradle. I'm going on the second night of a swaddle-feed-burp-change-sleep method. It's worked great so far and I'm hoping she sticks with it.

    Baby definitely feeds off your energy I think so try your best to stay calm and use soothing tones. Also, I've been keeping rooms dark at night and have been interacting very little with Nellie during nighttime feedings.. It's all business. I don't talk or sing to her. I have read that this helps little ones get the signal that it's time for sleep, not play. It's hard, b/c when she smiles at me I want to cuddle and love and tell her how amazing she is but I also want to sleep so I'm a better mommy.

    Good luck.. You're NOT alone!

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  4. "I'm going to make sure I am calmed...in hopes that he feels some of that and it helps him too." This is so true. Glad you know this :)

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  5. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. FLASHBACKS. Oh, Kenny, I'm so sorry. The exhaustion, the crying, the not knowing WTH to do to stop the crying, the trying to not seem stressed or exhausted for fear the baby will sense that and self combust, oh... I am remembering it all too well.

    Sounds like you've got a good outlook, and you're being proactive. Hang in there! You're certainly not alone, either. I will add, don't be afraid to jiggle. It really helped us once we learned to put Kendall in his bouncy seat and vigorously bounce him. He also settled a bit when I strapped him in the Moby wrap and bounced really hard on my yoga ball. Not sure if it will work for Miloh because, unfortunately for those of us trying to help each other, no two babies are calmed by the same thing, but it's worth a try.

    Interesting about the purple crying. Will have to look into that.

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  6. It's so cool to see you write about the Period of PURPLE Crying, how it was helpful to you and then linked to the website.
    From what I read, you sound like an amazing dad! Hang in there; this normal crying phase in your baby's life will come to an end soon!

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