The post in which I write a letter to Mother Earth

By kenny friedman on Wednesday, March 03, 2010

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Dear Mother Earth

I'm not sure how you work. Are you like Santa where you know what I've been thinking and doing? If so then this won't come as a surprise.

You know I have a lot of respect for you and all...and I'm not sure if I ever said the 'L' word but you know...I kind of dig you.

In the years we've been friends you've stayed pretty much the same it's just me who is different. Our relationship has been changing and I think it's at a point where we just cut the ties for a little while.

I know it sounds cliche but it's not you...it's me, really it is. Someone came between us and his name is Miloh.

When Staci and I first learned we were pregnant we were dead set on raising our child in an environmentally friendly way. We had plans to use cloth diapers from day one...we even got a new HE washer and dryer so cleaning them would be better for you.

Then we heard that cloth diapers are hard to use on super little kids, partly because of the size of the babies partly because of the amount of changes and partly because of the consistency of the poo.

So we decided to only use disposable for 6 weeks...just until we get things down and things get stable. Well we're 6 weeks in and the disposables are still going strong. We have moved from Pampers to Earth's Best but I know that while they say they are your best the are only really Earth's better because they don't biodegrade.

We still plan on doing cloth diapers...we're thinking we'll start at 3 months.

Then there is the dishwasher...we run it a lot...and by a lot I mean at least 6 times a week. We tried washing bottles by hand but it just wasn't working for us. There were too many to wash. And before I go further I gotta admit the bottles are all plastic so that's not good, right?

But back to the dishwasher...I'm not convinced it's worse than hand washing...something tells me it might not be...but it's often run with only bottles in it...sorry.

And to add insult to injury we're not using earth friendly dish soap right now. We tried for so long but our dishes looked like crap...the plus is that if you ever come over you'll notice our dishes are sparkly...

Another reason the dishwasher is on is that Miloh likes the noise...it helps him sleep. And really that's what matters...I'd rather him sleeping to him wailing so if I have to do a little harm to you, Mrs. Earth, to have him feel comfortable I'm cool with that.

Next there is the little matter of the full refrigerator of food I threw away last week. I hate throwing out food...it's such a waste and I know there are starving kids in China and such but we just haven't had time to cook what we bought. Plus friends brought over food so maybe you should be blaming them. Because without them we might have eaten what we had.

Who am I kidding? We would have just had popcorn.

There is also all the crap we're buying. We were good in that we borrowed a lot of stuff. One of those being a lamb swing, but maybe we didn't need second. The thing is Miloh loves sleeping in it (with the dishwasher on) and it became a pain to lug it up and down the stairs.

I'm not saying we can't be friends some day, I just think now isn't the right time.

Maybe next year we can reconnect, are you on Facebook? Maybe then we can get together and laugh at how we were pulled apart. And hey, if you come over you can have a drink from one of those sparkling glasses.

One thing though, if you do come over then don't look at our garage...we're getting a new car soon...and it will be a bigger car...but I am looking at one with good gas mileage.

Thanks...Kenny

P.S. I know you might be a bit bummed out right now since I dumped you and all...but if you click the banner below I'll get a vote on Top Baby Blogs and I'd be happy...
Click To Vote For Us @ the Top Baby Blogs Directory! The most popular baby blogs



14 comments:

  1. Well said. Although perhaps this is why Mother Earth has seen fit to ask Mother Nature to keep us in ridiculously cold temperatures for way too long. Just sayin'.

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  2. We were really ambitious before we had our baby too and we wanted to do our part for the environment. We used Kushies reusable diapers every other day when the baby was around 10lbs and even that was a pain. We finally gave up after a few months. By then, less diaper changes were necessary. It actually sort of made sense to start using them then. If I were to do it over, I would start using them once the baby is 6 months old on solids. The poops are more solid and would slide right off with the liners and you can flush them in the toilet. It would be easier to clean the diapers and plus at 6 months, the diapers fit much better.

    I would love to do more for the environment but the ugly truth is, things are typically more expensive, products seem poorer in quality, and it's more time consuming to take care of. It's hard enough being new parents, you know?

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  3. I was in TEARS reading this. Hilarious! We are just making the switch to cloth now - at 7.5 months. Ooops.

    FYI: If you really DO want to make the switch eventually - there will be a coupon code on my blog tonight for some extra extra cute cloth diapers!

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  4. I love this post!

    I had high hopes of being a green Momma and then my daughter was born! We bought some Kushies cloth diapers and we used a couple. I was EBF my daughter then and after the first poopy diaper, we were traumatized, and it was back to disposibles for us.

    My daughter is almost 7 months old now and she's on solids so the consistency of her poop has changed. Your post has made me think that maybe we should give the cloth diapers another shot...thanks for the inspiration (and a good laugh)!

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  5. New to the blog. Love it. (expecting our own alien creation in July)
    Good news... dishwasher uses less water!Especially if you scrape vs. rinse, and you don't pre-wash or soak (never understood the point of those anyway??).
    Thanks for the hilarious post.

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  6. Also new to the blog-ish.. Love this post!

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  7. Dear Kenny,

    I kinda dig your blog. My husband and I are also looking into cloth diapers. Our son is three-months-old, and we haven't quite made it there yet. Here's to next month.

    PS-Feel free to blog stalk me as well. Also? I voted for you on topbabyblogs. You're more than welcome to vote for me on topmommyblogs since we're not competing against each other. I'm kinda competitive and probably wouldn't have voted for you if you were on topmommyblogs. Just being honest.

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  8. Hilarious yet so true! Wait till you add more kiddos to the mix - the dishwasher will run at least once a day. The bottles can be reused for years on end & eventually can be used to store crayons, markers, help teach kids how to garden with little plants, etc. So that's a plus b/c you'll be doing your part. I'm sure she understands; she has to she created something tremendous & huge so she knows the demands it takes to be a parent.

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  9. Thanks all for the comments.

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  10. Oh this is perfect! And pretty true. I had grand ideas of how we would do things with MJ. haha...It's funny how us pre-parents do that and then have said child and then our ideas go out the window and we do what 'works' as we are learning what the heck to do with that thing we call a child.

    Kristi

    KristiMaristi.Com

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  11. I love this - it is totally hilarious and so accurate! Hysterical!!!

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  12. so true!

    i love your blog btw

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  13. I was in TEARS reading this. Hilarious! We are just making the switch to cloth now - at 7.5 months. Ooops.

    FYI: If you really DO want to make the switch eventually - there will be a coupon code on my blog tonight for some extra extra cute cloth diapers!

    ReplyDelete



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