By kenny friedman on Friday, May 14, 2010
Filed Under: Things we plan on doing
Since I'm a dude and unable to produce milk from I never thought I woul have to defend the reason we formula feed instead of breast feed. But I received a comment on a recent post so I thought I would talk about it here.
I'll get to the why we don't later but I'll start off on a tangent.
First off I don't want to alienate the person who asked the comment because they say they are a reader and I'm cool with anyone stopping by. But I can't call the person out anyway because the comment was anonymous...and here is where I go into a little bit of a rant, and if you follow me on twitter you know I'm a fan of the rant.
I'm assuming the comment was anonymous on purpose. Perhaps the person is a friend or someone I follow on twitter. Maybe they didn't want to ruin that relationship by coming out and saying it. I'm a big boy and can handle criticism.
Anonymous comments are never things like "Where did you get that cool toy?" they are usually a bit trolly. And the reason I bring up trolly, and again while I'm probably offending I'm not trying to, is because the comment was on a photo of Miloh and I. It would have been better placed on my review of a bottle or my week in numbers because I mention formula on those.
Now to the comment and my reply. The comment:
I have really enjoyed reading your blog! Miloh is adorable. It is great that you and your wife are really trying to be environmentally friendly and purchase as many "natural" products as you can. I am just curious to know why he isn't being breastfed? Did he try it and it wasn't working out? As you know breastmilk is the most natural food you could ever give your baby. It just seems a little contradictory to buy organic, natural items for the baby, yet feed him one of the most chemically processed horrible foods out there. Wearing an organic onesie isn't going to make any difference in his life (or yours), but feeding him breastmilk would. Just curious to know your stance on this!My response:
First off is it really anyone's business? I think not, especially because this is a dad blog, but I think if it was a mom blog I'd feel the same, however maybe I would have addressed it earlier. But anyone who reads mom blogs knows that it's a hugely emotional issue for some moms and I think it's rude when people on either side tell the other that they are doing something wrong.
I won't even get into anything about Staci because that stuff is personal and there are emotions for any woman who is struggling with breastfeeding for any reason.
But on to Miloh...he wouldn't take the boob. Now one might ask why we didn't keep trying to get him to latch. One reason is because he was pretty freaking jaundice at birth. So we had to decide have him basically not eat which would lead to worse jaundice, and that can lead to brain damage or other complications, or have him take the bottle.
With brain damage vs. bottle we pick the, hopefully, obvious choice of bottle.
Then we had to decide what we would go with moving forward...and again I don't feel it appropriate for me to go into the goings on there...but we stuck with bottle. It was working for him and his jaundice went away. He was in great health and he and we were happy.
Part of the comment was about it being best for him developmentally. We read all that, heard all that...if anyone is in the Montessori community you know that folks there are a wealth of info about breastfeeding (not sure why it kind of goes hand in hand.)
I wasn't breastfed...I'm not sure all the details as I was very young at the time but I wouldn't take and/or I couldn't handle the milk. And i'm not sure if there is a correlation but I'm allergic to milk and was from day one 9or two.) Maybe for whatever reason it wasn't for me as a newborn it wasn't for Miloh.
As for any adverse affects of me not being breast fed I'd say there are none (I'm looking at benefits on babycenter.) I'm in good health, have never had respiratory or ear probs. Aside from milk and egg albunem I have no allergies, I'm not obese but could stand to lose 8 pounds. And, although I don't like saying it, I'm a bit above average intelligence. So I'm not worried for Miloh.
About it being contradictory to buy non-processed foods and organic food and clothes but feeding him super processed formula that is hard to answer. Mostly because I have been a vegetarian for over 20 years and I prefer organic food or clothes...but if you knew me you'd also know that I love pure crap food. If I could eat nothing but french fries and falafel I would. I love me some Twix bars, although I would much prefer them if they were dark chocolate. I always buy 3 large boxes of Mike & Ikes, Lemonheads etc when Walgreens has the 3 for $3 sale.
If everything being equal I'd choose an organic shirt over a regular shirt...but if that organic shirt is ugly I'd sure as hell pick the regular one. I do buy organic foods but stick to the list of the most pesticide laden ones.
You see when it comes to the organic/healthy thing I'm a riddle wrapped in an enigma. I gets even more complicated when it comes to my uber-close to vegan-ness. I don't eat cheese EVER, and don't drink milk or eat eggs...but make me a brownie with eggs and milk and I will eat that thing up...put mayo in there and I'll spit it out on you.
Is his organic onesie going to change his life? It absolutely will...that's because I will chose options of organic stuff at times and he will be around it. Then when he's shopping for clothes he may buy more organic. Just because of the way we feed him he may eat less processed and be more vegan.
But if he want's to open a butcher shop or work in the Hostess fruit pie plant I'd be okay with that. And I'm sure if he did he'd be around people that when they have children decide to breastfeed them...which could be seen as contradictory too...but we all kind of do what is best for us, right?
So whoever wrote the comment I hope that answers your question...feel free to reply (anonymously or not.) But I want everyone to know that I don't want the comments on this post to become a back and forth of the breastfeeding camps and I will shut down/delete comments if that happens.
P.S. I'm really bummed that Hostess fruit pies are made with animal shortening...those things ROCKED.