Happy Freaking Father's Day to Me

By kenny friedman on Sunday, June 20, 2010

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It's kind of weird for me for this to be my first Father's Day...not because I'm a new dad and all but because the day has never meant anything to me.

I'll start by saying I'm not a fan of any Hallmark holiday. Most people see them as the day you need to go buy cards for folks so they know you care about them. I see them as a day that if you forget to buy a card you're screwed...you're seen as someone who doesn't care.

I had this trouble growing up because my father never reminded me of any holiday...so I would often forget when mother's day was. I probably knew it was a Sunday...but I'm sure I wasn't 100% it was in May let a lone the _th Sunday of the month. Does anyone really know for sure which Sunday it will be?

I grew to appreciate Mother's day, because I probably forgot to tell my mom how I felt about her on regular days. Then when this one came along it became more important to me because of Staci.

But I can say with all honesty that I NEVER cared about Father's Day. I've said before that while there are good older dudes in my world I didn't really get the concept of a father. It's like I understood that people had fathers...I had one until I stopped talking to him at 14ish years-old...but he was never really a dad in my eyes. So the idea of a father to me was really abstract.

It's one of the reasons this whole experience is kind of odd for me...odd because I still have weird feelings about the word father. And I see a huge difference between the word 'father' and the word 'dad.' Because while I went on the little tangent about not having a good concept of a father I had absolutely no concept of a dad.

I see a dad as someone who cares about their kids, is engaged with their life and wants to share all the good (and bad) moments. I never had that from my father. I keep him in the cluster of father because to me that's someone who is on your birth certificate...or I guess sometimes who's not even on it.

And now stuff is changed...I have an awesome kid...I am a dad...and I'm a little psyched for this Father's day...because it's a sea change in the way I see the holiday.

I can't wait until Miloh is older and makes me gifts at school...when I was a kid we'd make a lot of clay ash trays for parent gifts...I'm thinking it will be clay mugs or something.

But there will be those times where Miloh buys me a gift, and I'm cool with that to...but I have some rules what I never need to receive as a gift.

Things I never want:

  • Soap on a rope – do they still make that? I'm not sure but I have no interest in it.
  • A tie – I have to many from a job that made me dress up everyday. I don't need a tie.
  • Cologne – nice thought...but I'll wear it twice and the forget about it...and that's only if it's good, when in reality it would be $5 store brand stuff.
  • Those hand made coupon books...I know that scam. You give them and they say you'll do chores that you're already supposed to do. And you never do them even with the coupon book.
I'm actually pretty simple, I don't need big gifts, I'd be fine with french fries, falafel, Lemonheads, snowboard gear, camera Lenses, not cheap ones...I'll take Canon L Series...thanks.

Update: Staci got me chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast in bed and she had my blog printed into a book which is so awesome to see. She say's there are more surprises to come.  I'm still hoping for a Canon L Series lens...but that is a long shot. Thanks Staci!



5 comments:

  1. I'm the same with holidays, they mean little to me because I need little in life to make me happy. I'd rather celebrate random Tuesdays than some set aside day. Every day is Father's Day, Mother's Day, etc.

    But, having said that, Happy Father's day. I think you and Staci are doing a great job with Miloh.

    Congrats, hope you avoid the crappy gifts x

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  2. Happy Father's Day, Kenny. Miloh's has great parents.

    And not to rain on your parade, but have you heard about the schools trying to do away with making father's day gifts because it "hurts the feelings of those raised by single mothers?" When I was a kid, those kids without dads made their mom something.

    I'm the same with holidays. Unless it's Christmas, it pretty much slides. But, now I'm a mom, and it's kinda cool having your own holiday.

    And you're right about the father/dad thing. They're different. I had both. Not in the same person, of course. My father picked my step mother over his own child. Has been invited, and asked, and still, after 14 months, still has never seen his grandson. So I stopped offering. I'm not going to beg him. Whereas, my dad sees him almost daily. Even my mother's most recent husband sees him daily. My lil' dude has the grandpas he needs. Haha.

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  3. Well, I kinda like Mother and Father's days, but honestly since I'm living abroad it's been very difficult to decide in which date we will celebrate them. In Spain father's day is in March, in Brazil it's in August and in the States it's in June.... same stuff for Mother's day...

    Since we are a multicultural family, tough to decide!!! BTW, I loved Staci's idea - how did she get your blog printed? Pretty cool!!!

    Happy Father's day anyways *_*

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  4. Can you share how Staci had your blog made into a book? My sister blogs about her kids and I'd like to do the same thing for her. Thanks!

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  5. @Vanessa Ribeiro and anonymous

    She used Shared Book http://www.sharedbook.com/ The one problem with it is won't print any image that is a png...so my infographics didn't print. But most people use jpegs anyway...and you can see a preview.

    Not really sure why I decided on pngs for those, but I'm planning on doing a book of just them after year 1.

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