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An Open Letter to Spitz Seeds

This is a copy of a letter I would send to Spitz Seeds if they had an email address on their site, which they don't...but I figured I could use the power of the internet and hope someone from there will see this post too. They're owned by Frito-Lay which is owned by Pepsi...someone has to know someone who can hook me up...thanks

Hello my friends at Spitz seeds.

A few weeks ago I found myself at a gas station and I checked out the one of the promotional signs on the pump...I never really notice them. Anyway they were promoting a sale of Giant brand sunflower seeds...I saw they had a dill pickle flavor and was intrigued.

I went into the station to buy some seeds...while there I did a price comparison and noticed your seeds were less expensive than the Giant ones...so I bought a bag of your dill pickle flavor seeds.

And I loved them...they are awesome.

I'm writing to you about seriously the best opportunity that has ever come your way.

I would love for you to be the first official sponsor of my daddy blog SmonkYou.com.

You're probably thinking, "why would we want to sponsor a daddy blog?" To answer I'll throw out a bunch of buzzwords like ROI, Pushing the Envelope, Viral, Optimization, Buyersphere and Turnkey.

Then I'll throw some hard facts out about my website that will impress you.

  • I am the first and only male-mommy blogger...and you know how important mommy bloggers are in the webosphere (another buzzword I'm throwing in for free.)
  • It's the number one blog that I write.
  • It looks great in Firefox, Safari and Chrome (untested on Explorer but c'mon only about three people use Explorer...my apologizes if you are one of those three.
  • It's backed by a largely popular twitter account (@smonkyou) known for random rants and irreverant humor.

Now that I have your attention I'll tell you what I'm thinking a sponsorship would look like. I will put a logo and link to your site on my blog. I'd also tell the world how awesome your seeds are. In a blog post (it's this one) and no less than 4 tweets.

In return I'd like a year supply of your seeds. It took a week for me to eat a bag so 52 bags a year would suffice. However I think I could do better so if you want to send me 100 bags of a mix of flavors I think I can handle that challenge.

I know we're both excited about this opportunity...it will be great for us both...and who knows, maybe this relationship will become bigger than the one you have with MLB.

Let's talk soon...Kenny

UPDATE:

I sent the blog link to Spitz Seeds in their contact form on the site. And since they are owned buy Frito-Lay it went to some person who just sends back canned answers. She told me they are not seeking any new sponsorship opportunities...it was a semi-canned reply...but she did read my blog...I was hoping they'd have a little sense of humor.

Well, their loss. I'll still buy their seeds but when they realize their mistake I'll ask for 102 bags a year.

Comments

  1. TooMuchPressureToBeMarthaJune 23, 2010 at 11:01 PM

    Seriously? seriously. Hilarious. You are so my favorite male-mommy blogger. You are the best one out of the only one I read.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hmmm...definitely intrigued now. Too bad I always pay at the pump so I'll have to find a way to grab some (it's cool to leave the kids in the backseat while I go on a Seeds run at the gas station, right?). Good luck, hope you get 101 bags ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. If I worked for Spitz Seeds I would totally sponsor you after reading this email.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I LOVE Spitz Dill Seeds. And the package is awesome. Great post. Made me laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This was the first blog post my husband told me about, and I just now got around to reading it (I read in order, remember). Hilarious.

    Thank you for writing. It's given me something to do for the past two days while I've been at work, and has also alleviated some of my own fears about parenting. Right now Jason is the one who wants kids, and while I don't not want them, getting them from babyhood to college without them killing me or me severely traumatizing them is a little daunting.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This was the first blog post my husband told me about, and I just now got around to reading it (I read in order, remember). Hilarious.

    Thank you for writing. It's given me something to do for the past two days while I've been at work, and has also alleviated some of my own fears about parenting. Right now Jason is the one who wants kids, and while I don't not want them, getting them from babyhood to college without them killing me or me severely traumatizing them is a little daunting.

    ReplyDelete
  7. TooMuchPressureToBeMarthaJuly 3, 2011 at 9:59 PM

    Seriously? seriously. Hilarious. You are so my favorite male-mommy blogger. You are the best one out of the only one I read.

    ReplyDelete

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