August 30, 2010

Things that are lame

Last week Gregg over at The Lame Sauce asked me to do a guest post on what I think is lame.

I chose dead beat dad...but not for the reason you'd think. Here it is in case you missed it there...enjoy and then check out his site.

This could really suck or The bestest guest blog post in the world.

I’m supposed to write about something I think is lame but that’s really tough for me. Maybe it’s because I’m so sarcastic, skeptical and blunt that I have just too many things on my List O-Lame that I’m having a hard time narrowing it down.

I could write about Facebook, because I think it’s pretty freaking lame. I guess it all depends on how you use it but I see too many sycophantic or high schoolish updates that it makes my skin crawl.
I could write about people using any type of location service on social media when it’s letting the world know you’re in such lame places as Target, the dry cleaner or a McDonald’s drive-thru. No one cares.

Also on my List O-Lame would be preachy people, Minnesota (or general bad) drivers, the lack of spell check on the Palm Os, cheese, waiting for a more than 22 minutes to get a table at a chain restaurant (none are that good that you need to wait that long, go somewhere else), this post, blended coffee drinks and such that makes it take 15 minutes to get my morning espresso and a whole lot more.

But what I want to talk about today is the lamenicity of dead beat dads. Although first I should mention that I think it’s lame when people call others out for making up words using real words and prefixes or suffixes we all know…c’mon pull that stick out of your butt.

It should be obvious why dead beat dads are lame, it’s pretty much in the name. I had one, although he’d say that legally he didn’t have to pay for raising his kids. So I guess I’d add people who try to run their ex-father-in-law’s business into the ground so that they don’t have to pay a cent in a divoce but instead get a payout monthly. Dirty laundry is lame too…but whatever.

So other than the biggies; not supporting your kids, not being a good role model for your kids and leaving the baby momma on the hook for everything I found another reason it’s totally lame.
Dead beat dads are missing a huge opportunity to meet the ladies…not only are they being lame to their kids but they are being lame towards themselves.

I never realized how much of a great prop a baby can be…or I would have borrowed someone’s kid when I was single.

I should really quickly caveat this by saying I love my wife and won't be using Miloh as a prop to meet the ladies. Ad that there is no way in hell I would have cared for anyone elses child when I was younger...although a friend and I though about getting a dog to share in order to meet women.

Ok back to the point…ever since Miloh was born when I have him in tow I get smiles from women. I believe it’s impossible for a woman to walk by a guy with a baby and not smile coyly at that guy.

It was noticeable from the first time we took him out but it really hit me the weekend my wife was out of town. I went to one of those outdoor malls and toted hime in his stroller. Women were abound, a lot with kids, and would look at Miloh and smile then look at me with a bigger smile.

I kid you not when I saw 2 women change their walking path to pass Miloh and I to say a flirty hello.
So to all dead beat dads out there please realize you’re missing a huge opportunity in meeting women if you don’t have your kids around with you. Babies would work better than any line about their father being a thief.

And maybe, just maybe if the dead beat dads of the world used their kids for their own selfish reasons there could be a little positive side effect of a kid being with it’s dad.
No complaints about the post…I said it would be lame.

1 comment:

  1. This is true about men with kids. A man becomes infinitely more attractive when you see that he's willing to actually be a father to his children.

    I also think part of it is the shock value. You don't see a lot of guys out there alone with their kids, unfortunately. Then again with babies, it could just be the mother is too worried the father might leave the baby somewhere. It took my husband almost 2 years to figure out how to put a sweater on our daughter, so I was not about to let him leave the house with her.


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