Mommas don't let your sons grow up to be Vanilla Ice–or–Robbie Van Winkle you've been John C. Mayer-d

By kenny friedman on Saturday, September 18, 2010

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Generally I like to add the "anti" into "social media" and so I haven't done any of those blog work shop things...but Becky from Mommy Wants Vodka had a great idea she's calling a John C Mayer. If you're too lazy to click the link it's basically about getting a blog post ranked high in searches of a celeb.

So I'm going to Vanilla Ice, or should I say Robbie Van Winkle, the hell out of this post.

Why did I choose Vanilla Ice, Ice "Robbie" Van Winkle, Vanilla Ice Winkle or plain old Rob Van Winkle? Not really sure.

I was never a fan of Vanilla Ice (or Robbie Van Winkle) at all. When Ice Ice Baby, written by Robbie Van Winkle himself at the tender age of 16, came out I was listening to punk stuff...so I never bought one of Robbie Van Winkle's albums.

But I find the guy a bit intriguing...he was on that VH1 show Surreal Life in which he was pissed that people still called him Vanilla Ice instead of Robbie Van Winkle. Really? I have a feeling that people called him that because beside stop, collaborate and listen every word from his hit was either Ice or baby. (By the way why is the collaborate in there? There was really no opportunity for collaboration.)

While this is all about me getting ranked on a search for "Robbie Van Winkle" or if the gods of 90s rap shine on me "Vanilla Ice" I want to weave a little content in here that doesn't suck...

So I'll say that you I won't let Miloh grow up to be like Vanilla Ice. Not just because of the horrible clothes, atrocious hair and shaved eyebrows. A Robbie Van Winkle is okay, but I suppose not ideal, but you don't want a Vanilla Ice kind of kid.

The reason is because the Robbie Van Winkle is ashamed of his past. He wants to pretend that Rob Van Winkle is not the same person as Vanilla Ice. While his music and his running man dance were freaking horrible they weren't criminal, it was kind of what a lot of pop music was doing at the time, so it's not like he needs to hide.

He shouldn't be ashamed of the Vanilla Ice-ing of Robbie Van Winkle, he should have embraced it, maybe even pull a William Shatner and laugh at it (Shatner is laughing at himself right? or is he totally oblivious to what's going on?)

I'm going to let Miloh know that whatever he does in his life is fine. Never to be ashamed of himself, even if he Vanilla Ices himself. I'll teach him to realize that everything he does is what makes him who he is (we're talking later on of course because really that's advice more for post college folk...he really hasn't done a ton yet.)

Because the truth is you can't wash the Vanilla Ice out of the Robbie Van Winkle...because to us he'll always be Ice Ice Baby.

Now if anyone an please let me know what this post says that would be awesome. Oh and please digg, delicious, or somehow link the shit out of this post to help it get page rank...thanks.

And here's a pic of not Vanilla Ice.

Not Vanilla Ice



1 comment:

  1. Awesome John C. Mayering of Robbie Van Winkle. I agree you shouldn't be ashamed of your past like Robbie Van Winkle is, though Maybe John C. Mayer SHOULD be ashamed of his douche rock.

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