Skip to main content

On Becoming a Father


Originally posted on Dad Camp

Until 5 years ago all but a few fathers I knew were 30 or more years older than me. That’s because the simple fact that most of my friends had no kids so the only fathers I knew were their parents. Since those fathers were 60 plus and I was 30ish I didn’t put myself in the same category as them.

When we’re young we have a crazy concept of age. For instance when I went to day camp I thought all my counselors were about 30. I realized I was wrong when I was a counselor there at 15.

But that warped sense of age stuck with me when it came to fathers. In my head since I am so much younger than the fathers I know, I can’t be one myself. Maybe it was a really simple way to look at things but it was keeping me from putting myself in the category of father. I knew I wanted a kid one day but it just seemed so far away.

To add to my mental block of fatherhood, I thought of myself as just a normal guy. My conversations with other guys were about things like snowboarding, design, photography and such. Maybe most guys would switch football out for photo and design, but I make my living as a creative director. I didn’t of course talk about baby stuff.

But things changed. More of my friends have kids so I’m seeing fathers that I can relate to. And as Staci and I prepare for the baby we’re talking about baby stuff, maybe to the despair of some of our friends.

Last week at work I found myself in a 20 minute conversation about strollers. Granted we were talking about their design, form over function and which is more important for a stroller, but I was having a conversation about baby stuff and it felt right.

Five years ago I never pictured myself having that kind of conversation and enjoying it. Actually a year ago I never thought I’d be having that conversation. To be totally honest a few months ago, even after we found out we were pregnant, I didn’t think I’d enjoy a conversation about strollers.

That’s when I realized that there was a sea change going on in my mind. I made the switch from normal guy to father. I also found out I didn’t actually change much. I could still Kenny and just add the title of father instead of having the title define me.

I’m still having the same conversations I had before but with minor tweaks. I used to geek out on Eames chairs, now I get to geek out on the chairs but also the Eames Elephant for kids. I get to add to my list of things I’m digging. Pretty cool.

Maybe for some it’s a no brainer but it took me some time to realize that I can be a normal guy and a father.

Comments

  1. I know absolutely, positively what you mean. I am constantly looking at the parents of the children in my son's class as "grownups". They will ask me my opinion on something, and, while answering, I will think, "what the hell are you asking me for, I don't know anything". I have to keep reminding myself they are my peers, not my parents. It still doesn't feel right to me, though.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah, it's weird. I'm 36 but I still feel like a kid. Thanks for reading.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Just found you on Ohdeedoh... I like this post. I am only 30, but have a 3 year old and a 9 month old...
    I felt/feel this way too...Glad to know I'm not alone.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Katy, glad you found me from Ohdeedoh. I still have that "holy shit" moment when I look at Miloh...because I still feel it's weird that I have a son...awesome but weird.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

New Giveaway: ABC's for Expectant Dads - 10 awesome copies

Winners have been picked for the giveaway. Todd was so nice as to give all who entered by the deadline a copy of his book. Thanks all who entered...I sent an email to you for your info. Please email me (info on the header) if you don't get that email. Rommel I could not find your email...please let me know your contact info. A bit ago I found Todd Lieman in Twitterland and he sent me a copy of his book ABC's for Expectant Dads: The Ultimate A- for Dads-in-Training. I'd looked at a bunch of expectant dad books and I thought most were terrible. I did pick up The Expectant Father and I liked it but I haven't looked at it in months. I think it's tough for dad's because we're just reading about what's going on with the mothers and it's easier to hear it from them. Staci is reading so much that she keeps me up to date on things I should know and I'm sure most expectant moms are the same. I'm also luckily in that doing this blog has connected

The Cat in the Hat Knows Pretty Much Nothing About That

I find myself saying it a lot but we don't let Miloh watch a lot of TV... Mostly because it goes a bit against Montessori at home (although we're pretty reform with that) and also because we, read I, watch too much and we don't want Miloh in the habit. On the list of things he does watch is The Cat in the Hat Knows A Lot About That. Netflix is our friend in the mornings so he will get a bit of that or Sesame Street while the person who's on duty that AM tries to actually wake up. And Miloh truly loves the show. He calls it hat and pats his head. He let's us know that there's a fish on screen every time the fish comes on screen, he dances and says "Go, go, go" when they sing that song. Unfortunately since we really only watch on Netflix we've only seen eight episodes... But this gives me time to really think about the show. Here are some problems with it: The Cat in the Hat actually really knows almost nothing about everything. He does

Dear Scott the Paleontologist – the response... Wait sorry... the awesome response

In my last post I asked some incredibly pressing questions to Dr. Scott Sampson aka Scott the Paleontologist. Questions that any parent of a Dinosaur Train fan wants to know... I got a reply and I have to say Dr. Scott is hilarious and pretty awesome... But I'm a fan of science humor... So here are his responses in line with mine. They're in blue because that's the color of most of  Shiny Pteranodon. Dear Scott the Paleontologist, My son Miloh and I are fans of Dinosaur Train and as an avid fan I have some questions regarding it that I hope you can answer: The train is a steam engine. Does it run off coal? If it does use coal is there a possibility that greenhouse gases from that could have lead to the extinction of dinosaurs? How come this isn't a theory? Very interesting question. Yes, to the best of my knowledge, the Dinosaur Train runs on fossil fuels, but we actually do have an episode upcoming where we investigate alternative fuel trains. Given that