Sometimes A Toddler Troubleshooting Guide Would Be Helpful

By kenny friedman on Monday, October 17, 2011

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We all know there's no manual for a kid. You go to the hospital, pop the kid out (as easy as that) and then you're shoved out the door without any bit of info on how to take care of this thing–with the exception of maybe learning how to bath it.

However down the road you'll find that there are times you need such a manual if only to flip to the back to scan the trouble shooting guide.

Last night was such a time.

It was bath time, we have been pros at that since day two because as I alluded to we were taught how to give Miloh a bath at the hospital. I couldn't find his regular shampoo / body wash.

No problem at first. I just grabbed a nice little moisturizing wash that Staci bought Miloh.

But then came time to wash his hair... The wash was an oatmeal based thingy and it was moisturizing so I wasn't sure how that would work on his hair, not that I thought it would make it turn green or anything. I scanned the back and it said 'keep away from eyes' and I didn't want to deal with a kid screaming because of soap in his eyes so I looked for what else we had.

Side note–shouldn't all shampoo be 'no tears'?

I had my citrusy shampoo I could use but I never shove it into my eyes so I was unsure of the tear situation with it. Then there was my wife's shampoo but that stuff costs approximately $4000 a bottle. I believe it's so expensive because it's made of white rhino horn and panda fur. The ingredients don't list them on the back but I'm assuming  "aqueous extracts of chamomile leaf" is code for white rhino and panda.

Then I scanned the linen closet just to make sure we had none of his stuff. We didn't.

We did however have an all natural dog shampoo... Really it's just good stuff on it. I read the back of the bottle and it said that it's good for people too.

So I think the choice is obvious.

I put a little bit of the dog shampoo and put it in my hands. Then I went to the sink and washed it off because I knew if I told my wife, that the reason MF's hair smells so good is because it's dog shampoo, she wouldn't be too happy.

However if there was a trouble shooting guide that said "of course use the dog shampoo" I would have been good.

Anyway I grabbed a tiny bit of my shampoo, washed his hair and covered his eyes so none got in.

Moral of the story: Baths are really kind of gross because you're stewing in a bunch of filth.





4 comments:

  1. Funny. I just used bubble bath this morning for the same reason.

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  2. Hubby, This is all news to me. Before I got to the line about washing out the dog shampoo I had my cell in hand ready to call you. You are too funny. PS - for some reason his shampoo is in our bedroom. Not sure why but I have learned not to ask questions. Maybe I should for now on...love you!

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  3. I only wish I could judge. Last night we thought Sullivan was feeding Harper ... but when we went over to tell him the doggy had already had her dinner, we found traces of dog food crumbs in Sully's mouth. We're just keepin' it classy over here at the Basgen house.

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  4. http://www.amazon.com/Toddler-Owners-Manual-Instructions-Troubleshooting/dp/1594740267

    We own it. We also own the baby one. And we have gone to it with questions.

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