Some people mistakenly call me a subarbanite: or why an angel dies every time you go to a drive-thru coffee house
By kenny friedman on Monday, July 19, 2010
Filed Under: freaking out
Hey...when you're done reading check me out on ohdeedoh.
If you haven't read my post about my trip to the doctor with Miloh last week you might want to...chronologically these events preceded the doctor but both happened while Staci was out of town.
Some may call me a subarbanite...maybe it's because I live in the subarbs...but in reality I'm not. I'm more of a displaced city guy.
We live where we do because we like our place...it's a rowhouse, which means we have no lawn work to do...yeah you can find those in the city but they are twice as expensive...plus our area is a great place to go riding on a road bike...that's if I ever get on that thing.
I'm not one of those anti-suburb people, obviously, but people often are surprised I live in the burbs...but there are some suburban things that I just can't stand...Drive-thru coffee houses.
Or I guess to be more correct coffee houses with drive-thrus...I can't stand them. Okay, maybe that's not strong enough. They make me totally uncomfortable, I can't stand the long wait, I hate that people wait in a running car for a freaking cup of coffee (or annoying freaking drink - keep reading) and I especially can't stand when I'm in the coffee place and they make the drinks for the lazy folks in the line before they make mine.
Maybe some of my snobiety comes from the days when I worked at coffee houses. When I worked at coffee houses it was before everyone knew the word 'barista.' I was just called the dude at the coffee house. Although I didn't have a fancy title I actually knew how to tamp a portafilter (the handle thingy) and pull a shot of espresso...now it's just a push of the button.
Back to the drive-thru...I won't do them...Staci knows this...I'll begrudgingly go to the shops with a drive-thru, get out of my car and go into the shop...and then I'll get pissed that the shitty barista makes a drink for the person in their car before me (yeah, I know I already said that.)
So when Staci was out and I had the taste for an Iced espresso I headed to the coffee shop...okay to be fair it was a Borders because they have decentish SBC coffee and I could get some stuff while there.
Miloh was in tow...and I figured I could take him around the little outdoor shopping area like any good suburban dad would do,
When I called Staci to let her know what was the plan for Miloh and I she told me to go to a drive-thru...I laughed.
I had a long wait in line because the dude in front of me bought 4 foo-foo drinks for his family. I would love to smack the person who invented frappacinos, which I feel is one of the major downfalls of our society (when I was a coffee dude there were no blended drinks...and everyone was happy.)
After I got my drink, which confused the "barista" a bit, Miloh and I headed out to the mall...we looked at a water fountain (he wasn't a fan) a waterfall (he wasn't a fan) and then headed to get me some ingredients for dinner...which consisted of soy ice cream, chocolate sauce and peanuts...because that hits a lot of food groups and is healthy.
As I was checking out I realized we were super close to the 2 hour wakefulness window for Miloh. I needed to get him in bed in 10 minutes in order to get him to sleep easily...and I was 15 minutes from the house.
To add to that you probably know that if he slept in the car that wouldn't be great because he wouldn't sleep enough and he wakes when we move him.
I ran to the car and got him in the seat...and I started singing to him: "Domo arigato don't go to sleep now. Thank you very much for staaaaaying awake." I sang that all the way home.
I got him in bed just in time...like in a movie where the bomb starts beeping and you cut the wire at the right time...but then the bomb started beeping again...Miloh was pooing...it was now like in Lost where they had to hit the bomb with a fire extinguisher to cool it and stop it form blowing....finally after 15 minutes he slept...it was a good thing
A crisis was averted.
Then I had time to hop on to twitter...people replied to my tweet about my anti-drive-thru stance...they apparently did not agree, one actually said goodbye to the angel they just killed.
They say it's easier than luggin your kid in a stroller...that wasn't hard for me. They say it keeps them from waking their kid when they need a drink...well maybe you don't need that drink (especially if it's a foo-foo blended one.)
All I know is that I won't go through a drive-thru coffee house to get myself a drink...I just can't do it. And that, my friends, is while I'll never really be a surbanite.